Teen Mom OG Recaps That'll Change Your Life

Clearly Teen Mom is the gift that keeps on giving. Go back in time and get all caught up on all your favorite Teen Mom OG recaps. It's free!

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Teen Mom Recap: Stairs 1, Gary 0

Farrah – Ooh la la!  Someone is finally ready to get back into the wonderful world of modeling.  I guess leopard print caftans aren’t going to sell themselves!  After boobs have been bought,  Farrah is thumbing through her “portfolio” and this is the first instance in this episode where I literally squealed with delight.  I’m […]

Teen Mom Recap: The Original Tot Mom, Amber Portwood, is Back Ladies and Gentlemen (Greeters)!

Cruel world, it’s been too long! After waiting almost as long for my parents to allow me to watch Weird Science on VHS, Teen Mom has finally returned! It’s fitting that the premiere is the week of 4th of July because like apple pie, fireworks, and red, white, and blue streamers there is nothing more […]

My Open Letter to Amber Portwood

My Dearest Ambersand, I am forced to write this open letter to you as I am in fear of your life my own life.  I know you’ve been going through some really rough times lately.  First you got knocked to the up whilst 16 years old and, even worse, it took you 2 seasons to […]

9 Things I Learned from Teenage Mothers in 2010

It’s been quite a year for girls who “gave it up” at a young age, found themselves “with child” and simultaneously starring in their own television reality series. At the same time, I have watched endless hours of these girls over the course of 2010 and have learned a thing or two. Since I’m a […]

My Dreams are Coming to Life! Amber Gets Tattoo of Roseanne on Her Muffin Top!

Join Me on Facebook! Have you ever read the book “The Secret?”  Don’t judge, I live my life by it, but I’ve figured out the secret of “The Secret.”  You can’t wish for anything actually important in life.  Not at all.  I’ve been “putting out into the universe” that I will be working for The […]

If Amber Wasn’t “Sexy-Dancing” Whilst Intoxicated I’m Gonna Be Angry

Join Me on Facebook! “Cotton candy sweet and low, let me see that tootsie roll (I said) tootsie roll. To the left, to the left, to the right, to the right, to the front, to the front.  Now dip, baby dip.  I said now, dip baby dip.“ This is exactly what plays in my head […]

Teen Mom Reunion Recap: Let’s Slap a 5150 on Amber and Just Move on With Our Lives

Join Me on Facebook! Well get out the toothpicks and place them in your eyes because we have a 2-hour commitment to Teen Mom ahead of us.  Will Butch surprise us all by storming the stage via a Jerry Springer moment?  Will Dr. Drew read a letter from the real Roseanne and Dan Conner giving […]

Teen Mom Recap: No, Debra No Longer Looks Like a Felon

Join Me on Pull off your braces, crack open some Twisted Tea, and start your very own “sexy-dancing” because it’s the last episode of Teen Mom for the season. It’s funny because I didn’t think it would impact me the way that is has and I never thought I’d feel this way, but as far […]

Amber is Sorry and Quite Possibly On Enough Tranquilizers to Stop a Charging Rhino

Join Me on Facebook! It’s Amber’s World, Amber’s World, Party Time, Excellent! I mean, come on.  It’s like Santa Christ is hard at work over at 1515 Broadway and forcing Amber to create a “home video” apologizing for punching and beating the bag out of Gary just for me!  And, to top things off they […]

Teen Mom Recap: Amber Meets Prince Charming at “Wally.”

Join Me on Facebook! Amber – It’s shocking to me that Gary isn’t at Amber’s House of Horror yet and they haven’t smoothed things over as they typically do after their major blowouts.  Therefore Gary is staying at is brothers apartment.  Why do “the poors” always call it an apartment when clearly it is Section […]

So Which Episode Does Amber Go to Jail?

IBBB has been blowing up with comments and personal emails asking me if Amber is going to go to jail for beating the bag out of Gary on national television.  I, of course, typically respond with my standard statement of “I only wish I knew them personally.”  Well, apparently you’re not allowed to beat up […]

Teen Mom Recap: “Guess What, B*tch? This is MY House!”

Join Me on Facebook! Amber – Oh Amber.  Amber, Amber, Amber.  Amber and her friend, who I believe is also a “teenage mother” are out at the park pushing their kids on the swings and chit-chattin’ about deep world issues.  I’m kidding.  They’re talking about how Gary may end up living in his van since […]

Teen Mom Recap: This is My Father, His Name is Darl

Join Me on Facebook! You may think that this Teen Mom recap is over a day late. You would be incorrect. I deliberately withheld the recap from you as a way to symbolize how Ryan feels about Bint-Lee being hijacked to Nashville. So did you like coming here and not finding the Teen Mom recap? […]

Teen Mom Recap: Why Can’t We See April’s Vegas Vacation?

Join Me on Facebook! Farrah – You know who has a real clean property?  Debra.  She must have used her court-order trash claw to clean up the lawn and sidewalk.  Our favorite Who with a butcher knife is offering Farrah to live in her rental house across the street and Farrah is still being a […]

Teen Mom Recap: April, Without Butch, Frightens Me. Like, A Lot.

Join Me on Facebook! Catelynn – Once again I’m kicking things off with Catelynn and crew because, well, I pretty much only want to watch a show with them in it. It’s Prom time for Cate and Tyler and so that can only mean one thing, Catelynn’s mom, April, is taking her and her friend […]

Teen Mom Recap: “Butch’s World” is the Only World I Really Want to Live In

Join Me on Facebook! Sorry that this is just being posted now.  Like the girls from 16 & Pregnant, I was late.  Anycrap, here’s what went down on with our favorite cast of characters on Teen Mom (or “Teenage Mother” if I’m feeling fancy) Catelynn – So at what point are they just going to […]

Teen Mom Recap: How Do We Get the Easter Bunny on the Biggest Loser?

Join Me on Facebook! It’s the Easter crapisode of Teen Mom and, well, clearly Jesus has risen because this is one great crapisode!  Here’s what went down last night on Teen Mom: Farrah – It’s Easter for Farrah and Sophia and while she’s busy putting rabbit ears on herself and Sophia I wonder what on […]

Teen Mom Recap: Step Right Up! Step Right Up! Come See the World’s Worst Marriage Proposal!

Join Me on Facebook! Catelynn – I used to love Catelynn and Tyler because they seemed the most normal with a great giant forehead head on their shoulders, but lately they’re turning into little mini April and Butch.  By the way is her mom’s name April?  I think it is.  Anyway, it’s Catelynn’s birthday so, […]

Teen Mom Recap: Everyone Has a Better Valentine’s Day Than Me

Join Me on Facebook! It’s Valentine’s Day for the young mothers of Teen Mom and I just realized that whilst I tee off on them on a weekly basis they technically have a better love life than me and are about 5 10 years younger than me.  I’m pretty sure that’s what the kids call […]

Teen Mom Recap: Ugly Crying, Big Foreheads, and Moving Out

Join Me on Facebook or Become a Teen Mom! It’s not normal that every time Teen Mom starts up I always sing “Sweet 16” in my head.  I mean, I’m also crazy-train so I guess it is normal.  Anybustedhymen, walk with me, talk with me, and feel better with me because we’re not 16 and […]