Teen Mom OG Recaps That'll Change Your Life

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Teen Mom Recap: I Mean, Amber is Basically Cured

As promised here is the recap of the second crapisode of Teen Mom.  Per usual, the most interesting person in this episode is Amber because, well, watching anyone have a breakdown is quite the treat for both the eyes and ears.  If you like this recrap, don’t forget to click on the “Recommend” button that […]

Teen Mom Recap: Rehab and Daycare are the Same Thing, Right?

Well, well, well.  Look what the placenta eating cat dragged in.  Teen Mom is back!  And according to the 2,032 commercials that MTV has been showing this is the most dramatic year yet.  I hope that’s code for “We found Amber’s rope.”  I don’t care.  I said it.  You think you’re going to come here […]

If You are a Teen Mom You WILL End up in Jail

That title is based on fact.  Yes, fact.  I’ve surveyed over zero teenage mothers and ended up with that highly classified data.   I’ve received a lot of emails and the like from readers asking me about my take on our beloved Amber spending 5 years in the slammer. I’m prepared to issue a statement. Also, […]

Teen Mom Reunion Part II: A Surprise Forehead

And so we meet again.  Dr Drew and his baby vomit green decides to bring Amber back after she stormed off stage due to her mom talking to Dr Drew about her daughter dying from SADS.  That’s a typo and, well, I’m keeping it because Amber stuffed into her blue blouse without spanx makes me […]

Teen Mom Reunion: Farrah Pulled The Gotcha Gotcha on Debra. She Will Simply Pay With Her Life.

Woo hoo!  Let’s put these rust dumpsters under the microscope of Dr. Drew Potato Head and his removable hair piece!  I always love how we kick things off with a close up of Dr Drew with his face right in the camera like he’s trying to analyze each and every one of us through the […]

Teen Mom Recap: So, Dropping Dirty isn’t the Same as Shasta McNasty??

Well good day my good people of IBBB.  As many of you know (those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter) I have been battling what I can only assume is a giant dose of karma with a slam punch of bronchitis, sinus infection, 102 fever, and possible pneumonia.  I, of course, blame Amber and […]

Teen Mom Recap: This Show Lit a Candle in My Heart

Farrah – For those of you playing along at home, please stamp your Teen Mom BINGO card because, yes, we have found a Barney stuffed animal right off the bat.  I’m pretty sure Sophia thinks Barney is her dad.  Too soon?  Per usual, Debra is having a hard time with even the thought of Farrah […]

Teen Mom Recap: Amber Becomes a Woman in Jail

Farrah – It’s been about 3 minutes since our little Glow Worm with a new rack has made the friendly skies unfriendly so it only makes sense that Farrah is talking to Debra and filling us all in that she wants to travel to Florida to check out some below average school that takes worms […]

Teen Mom Recap: The One Where Farrah Wants to Join an Immigration Gang in Arizona

Farrah – Per usual we’re kicking things off with Farrah because her dirt bag attitude is this shows unsung hero.  Miss Gulch is in rear form during this crapisode but before we get to that it’s time to play “Where in the World Is Our Glow Worm Going?” (sung to the tune of the Carmen […]

Teen Mom Recap: I’m Dreaming of a White (Trash) Christmas

Farrah – Apparently getting your “Pizza Making” 2 year degree deserves an endless celebration because Farrah’s dad is taking her out to brunch.  This, of course, requires him to have a little screwdriver with brunch basically to just get through it…kinda like what I have to do watching these trash heaps converse.  Farrah is filling […]

Teen Mom Recap: Amber’s Mom is the Myspace of Teen Mom’s Moms

Farrah – Since Debra no longer seems to want to “slash-n-grab” Farrah’s face anymore we’re left with picking random storylines out of a black top-hat.  So what do we have in store this week, boys and girls?  Well we’re going to be heading off to the graveyard but of course!  Sophia, press pause on your […]

Teen Mom Recap: At Least Leah Didn’t Yell, “Roseanne!”

Farrah – It’s quite the celebratory day for our little Glow-Worm with bangs, Farrah, because she’s finally graduated with her associates degree from her local culinary school!  So basically at this point she’s qualified to cook me sandwiches out of an ice cream truck.  Although, I’m not too sure how good those sandwiches will be […]

Teen Mom Recap: Halloween for The Poors

Farrah – Oh Jesus, baby Goo is legit dressed like Dora and trying to help Farrah load the dishwasher.  Yes, my friends, it has come to this.  Is it just me or does Farrah talk to Sophia like she’s the family pet?  She keeps trying to get Sophia the Explorer away from the dishwasher because […]

Teen Mom Recap: Per Usual, Barney Continues to Destroy Families

Amber – Manscape your junk fella’s because Amber Portwood is back on the meat market!  The same as my mood changes with each beer I pound, Amber and Gary have decided to break up again.  I think the only difference is that Amber will only be using her mouth on Gar Bear and not her […]

Teen Mom Recap: Butch (Snarlin’ Darlin’) is Back, Baby! He’s a Natural Born Predator!

Hello my good people.  Before we get down to brass tax, let’s get down to brass tacks.  For those of you who’ve helped me during the Celebrity Twitter Bomb, we’ll be playing again today.  It’s simple.  If you like this recap and want to help me continue to sell out then “Tweet” this recap (you […]

Teen Mom Recap: Stairs 1, Gary 0

Farrah – Ooh la la!  Someone is finally ready to get back into the wonderful world of modeling.  I guess leopard print caftans aren’t going to sell themselves!  After boobs have been bought,  Farrah is thumbing through her “portfolio” and this is the first instance in this episode where I literally squealed with delight.  I’m […]

Teen Mom Recap: The Original Tot Mom, Amber Portwood, is Back Ladies and Gentlemen (Greeters)!

Cruel world, it’s been too long! After waiting almost as long for my parents to allow me to watch Weird Science on VHS, Teen Mom has finally returned! It’s fitting that the premiere is the week of 4th of July because like apple pie, fireworks, and red, white, and blue streamers there is nothing more […]

My Open Letter to Amber Portwood

My Dearest Ambersand, I am forced to write this open letter to you as I am in fear of your life my own life.  I know you’ve been going through some really rough times lately.  First you got knocked to the up whilst 16 years old and, even worse, it took you 2 seasons to […]

9 Things I Learned from Teenage Mothers in 2010

It’s been quite a year for girls who “gave it up” at a young age, found themselves “with child” and simultaneously starring in their own television reality series. At the same time, I have watched endless hours of these girls over the course of 2010 and have learned a thing or two. Since I’m a […]

My Dreams are Coming to Life! Amber Gets Tattoo of Roseanne on Her Muffin Top!

Join Me on Facebook! Have you ever read the book “The Secret?”  Don’t judge, I live my life by it, but I’ve figured out the secret of “The Secret.”  You can’t wish for anything actually important in life.  Not at all.  I’ve been “putting out into the universe” that I will be working for The […]