Teen Mom OG Recaps That'll Change Your Life

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Teen Mom Reunion Part One: Foreheads with a Side of Sass

I’m glad that MTV decided to split this reunion up into two parts.  I think it technically takes that long to try and discover exactly where iCarly is hiding out.  Spoiler Alert:  Tajikistan.  I know, it’s usually the first place I look but the last place Dr. Drew looked.  Speaking of doctors who mainly appear […]

Teen Mom Finale Recap: Blue Raspberry Slut Puppies

Well folks, here we are.  Like Farrah’s life when Debra grabs the butcher knives, all good things must come to an end.  So for one last time, let’s see what Amber, Farrah, Maci, and Catelynn were up to on last nights crapisode of “The One Time Unprotected Teenage Sex Actually Paid Off, Literally.” Amber – […]

Teen Mom Recap: The One Where Leah Wishes She Was Carly

Well we’re almost done with this Teen Mom series which means that you’ll have to go back to actually paying attention to your own dumb kids and I should probably start reading books or something.  I’m kidding I would never do that.  Once I finally found Waldo I gave up “the books” for hundreds of […]

Teen Mom Recap: All of Farrah’s Ex’s Live in Texas (and Heaven)

Hello my good people.  It’s time for yet another episode of “Carly is Really Missing Out.”  Before we continue I’d like to say a big “gracias” to all of you who recommended and shared my recap of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.  It broke IBBB records that, well, only I care about.  So let’s make […]

Teen Mom Recap: Butch’s Dream of Becoming a Lawyer

Time for another episode of “Spread ‘Em Young and Land on the Television.”  Before we get to that, please be sure to come back tomorrow where (yes) I will be recapping a new show, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” on TLC.  I like to think of it as a Teen Mom prequel.  Also, be sure […]

Teen Mom Recap: What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Tonight on a very special episode of Teen Mom we deal with the delicate subject of domestic violence. Remember, abuse is never ok and if you know someone who is in an April and Butch style situation please let them know that, well, no one likes a snitch so take it to the grave. God […]

Teen Mom Recap: Kim’s Ricki Lake Makeover Episode

That’s right folks it’s time for another episode of “Are You Sure It’s Not Too Late for An Abortion?”  The answer to that is always “no.”  Although I’m sure modern western medicine would disagree.  Consult your physician before reading this recap.  Also, as always if you’d like to join me on my personal Facebook page […]

Teen Mom Recap: Orange You Glad I Didn’t Say Trash Claw?

Time for another episode of “Now You’re Just Moms.”  Join me on my Facebook page (click here) and be sure to click the “Recommend” button so you can share this will all your friends and family members that you hate.  Ole! Farrah – Bolt down the furniture and put the rubber sheets on the bed […]

Teen Mom Recap: 50 Shades of Gary

Time for another episode of “I’m Barely Still a Teen, but Keep the Cameras Rolling and the Checks Coming!”  Overall this crapisode was a snooze but there are still some gems nonetheless.  Bonus points of me using a 10 point word like “nonetheless.”  Also, Friend me on Facebook by clicking here if you want to […]

Teen Mom Recap: Maci Are You Ok? Are You Ok? Are You Ok, Maci?

Check your naughty factory for a fetus because it’s time for another crapisode of Ye Ole Teenage Madre.  It’s both “old timey” and “Spanish.”  I’ve decided.  Before we get to the goods, I have a little housekeeping to discuss.  I need y’all to help me win a little contest Bravo is holding to become the […]

Teen Mom Recap: Farrah and the Fairytale of Local Registered Sex Offenders

Hey y’all it’s time for another crapisode of Teen Mom.  Sadly this episode was a little slow (like Kyle trying to find the toaster in the tree in a Highlights magazine) but hopefully this recap will breathe a little life into it.  I have no idea what that means.  However, if you like what you […]

Teen Mom Recap: I Mean, Amber is Basically Cured

As promised here is the recap of the second crapisode of Teen Mom.  Per usual, the most interesting person in this episode is Amber because, well, watching anyone have a breakdown is quite the treat for both the eyes and ears.  If you like this recrap, don’t forget to click on the “Recommend” button that […]

Teen Mom Recap: Rehab and Daycare are the Same Thing, Right?

Well, well, well.  Look what the placenta eating cat dragged in.  Teen Mom is back!  And according to the 2,032 commercials that MTV has been showing this is the most dramatic year yet.  I hope that’s code for “We found Amber’s rope.”  I don’t care.  I said it.  You think you’re going to come here […]

If You are a Teen Mom You WILL End up in Jail

That title is based on fact.  Yes, fact.  I’ve surveyed over zero teenage mothers and ended up with that highly classified data.   I’ve received a lot of emails and the like from readers asking me about my take on our beloved Amber spending 5 years in the slammer. I’m prepared to issue a statement. Also, […]

Teen Mom Reunion Part II: A Surprise Forehead

And so we meet again.  Dr Drew and his baby vomit green decides to bring Amber back after she stormed off stage due to her mom talking to Dr Drew about her daughter dying from SADS.  That’s a typo and, well, I’m keeping it because Amber stuffed into her blue blouse without spanx makes me […]

Teen Mom Reunion: Farrah Pulled The Gotcha Gotcha on Debra. She Will Simply Pay With Her Life.

Woo hoo!  Let’s put these rust dumpsters under the microscope of Dr. Drew Potato Head and his removable hair piece!  I always love how we kick things off with a close up of Dr Drew with his face right in the camera like he’s trying to analyze each and every one of us through the […]

Teen Mom Recap: So, Dropping Dirty isn’t the Same as Shasta McNasty??

Well good day my good people of IBBB.  As many of you know (those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter) I have been battling what I can only assume is a giant dose of karma with a slam punch of bronchitis, sinus infection, 102 fever, and possible pneumonia.  I, of course, blame Amber and […]

Teen Mom Recap: This Show Lit a Candle in My Heart

Farrah – For those of you playing along at home, please stamp your Teen Mom BINGO card because, yes, we have found a Barney stuffed animal right off the bat.  I’m pretty sure Sophia thinks Barney is her dad.  Too soon?  Per usual, Debra is having a hard time with even the thought of Farrah […]

Teen Mom Recap: Amber Becomes a Woman in Jail

Farrah – It’s been about 3 minutes since our little Glow Worm with a new rack has made the friendly skies unfriendly so it only makes sense that Farrah is talking to Debra and filling us all in that she wants to travel to Florida to check out some below average school that takes worms […]

Teen Mom Recap: The One Where Farrah Wants to Join an Immigration Gang in Arizona

Farrah – Per usual we’re kicking things off with Farrah because her dirt bag attitude is this shows unsung hero.  Miss Gulch is in rear form during this crapisode but before we get to that it’s time to play “Where in the World Is Our Glow Worm Going?” (sung to the tune of the Carmen […]