Teen Mom OG Recap: Presenting 6″ Eyelash Portwood
I missed the live Tweeting of Teen Mom last night since I was flying the friendly skies and getting back from a much needed vacation.
I missed the live Tweeting of Teen Mom last night since I was flying the friendly skies and getting back from a much needed vacation.
>> Follow Me on Twitter & Facebook to Continue the Teen Mom Conversation! << I know I’ve said that Gary and Amber were basically the Roseanne and Dan Connor of
> Follow Me on Twitter & Facebook to Continue the Teen Mom Conversation! < Well hello my good people of Teen Mom. So we meet again. This week is filled with
I wanted to title this one “The One Where Everyone is Pregnant” but I just figured that was a given since if it’s one thing
Is it just me or is Teen Mom on for an hour, but there are about 46 minutes of commercials? It’s like we watch Amber
I don’t want to oversell this, but this is probably the best episode of Teen Mom since the one where we watched Debra pick up
Are we already almost done with the season because it seems like they packed 25 things into this one episode…and by that I mean, Amber
You know who has a loving aura around her? Farrah. Between her sweet-as-pie face and the way she honors her mother on a regular basis,
Well folks we finally made it. It’s the end of the first season of Teen Mom OG (the “OG” of course standing for “Oh God
Just once I want the Teen Mom reunion to be like a Real Housewives reunion. And by that I mean I want to see Dr.
Wipe your tears (and your bums) because it’s officially the last episode of the season. I know. It’s like a wise person once said; “You
Well, well, well. Well here we are again. Looks like we all fell off the Teen Mom wagon and we come together to get the
“White trash bus driver…Move That BUS!!!” Catelynn – As much as this show is about teenage mothers (?) let’s all just admit it’s really about
More: Like This Teen Mom Recap? Join Me Here on Facebook! Farrah – Death is never an easy topic to discuss, but luckily for us
Catelynn – It’s the day we’ve all been waiting for, I assume. It’s Cate and Tyler’s wedding day! Well, they have to have the rehearsal
It’s another victorious episode of Teen Mom and by “victorious” I mean, “35 minutes of commercials and two chronic ugly cries.” Let’s dig into it.
Was my television possessed by el diablo last night? There was only one commercial shown every 5 minutes and then the show ended at 10:40.
After the flu last week, both Teen Mom and I are back! And look at that…just in time for the season finale. Ole! Farrah – Things
Jenelle – Oh hi, Jenelle. This week Jenelle gives a fully thought-out presentation to her lawyer on the 5 steps she’s planning on taking to
Well apparently MTV is just taking requests from me at this point. Last week we had the second coming of Christ in the “Being Barbara”
Well folks, Teen Mom OG is back! Let’s just jump right into last night’s episode because you know how this all works. Ole! Farrah –
Farrah – A lot may be going on in Farrah’s life, but that doesn’t mean she can’t find the time to get a colonoscopy and
Some people are sick of Teen Mom, but not me. Nope. I say keep ’em coming. I mean what else do I have going on?
Another week, another Teen Mom in crisis. This week we all get to attend Amber’s 26th surprise party, blame a pig for a breakdown, and
Farrah – Looks like someone may be gearing up for their next ‘accidental’ celebrity sex tape because Farrah inflated her lips up a couple
It’s the Mother’s Day episode for everyone on Teen Mom and I’m back again this week! Thanks for all the Facebook messages you sent me
Another week, another recap of all things Teen Mom. Be sure to share this on Facebook with all your trash bag friends! Farrah – Apparently Farrah
Farrah – It’s almost the grand opening of FroCo and the poor girls who have to work the counter are now being trained by Farrah
We are heartbroken to hear reports that your favorite Teen Mom sidekick, Butch, was recently arrested and reportedly spent time back in the slammer for
Farrah – It’s basically day 2 of FroCo and Farrah’s employee Kiana is having a real hard time with the can-opener. And you want to
Farrah – It’s another week and another episode where Farrah drags Baby Goop to the highway to talk about Daddy Derrick, but this time there’s a
Farrah – It’s Baby Goop’s first day of second grade and she’s up, dressed, and ready to terrorize kids her own age, which is a nice
It’s the season finale of Teen Mom OG. How could it already be over? It seems like the season just started 72 weeks ago. Alas,
I don’t always recap the Teen Mom reunion because it’s a lot of same/same from the season, but today I’m here for the good old
Allow me to reintroduce myself my name is Humpty, I’m IBBB and she is now apparently Debz OG and, well, if you ever wondered exactly the final sign of
Well, well, well, looks like we’re all back! I missed last week as I was traveling, so let’s just pretend the first episode never happened.
Farrah – So looks like Farrah did end up buying that mini horse for Baby Goop. The producers want to stay outside and play with the
Farrah – Grab your protective shields and put yourself in lockdown because it’s Baby Goop’s 8th birthday! This year the theme is “Princess” and Farrah wants
Farrah – When all is said and done, I have no clue what really is going on with Farrah. Just when I think she’s starting to
I tell ya, MTV just keeps making my life better and better. Do you know how much easier it is to recap an episode where
Farrah – Austin, Texas can collectively breathe a sigh of relief, because Farrah is getting out of Dodge and setting her sights on Los
Farrah – Ugh, the “family vacation” continues to be as terrible as we all knew it would be. David continues on his tour of “Farrah
Because we all could use a little extra Teen Mom stuff around the house. Whether you’re the biggest Teen Mom fan or know the biggest Teen
Chelsea isn’t playing when it comes to crafty editing on Teen Mom 2 and she’s taken to “The Twitter” to voice her concerns over a bunch
Whether you love her, hate or, or hate to love her Farrah doing her signature “ugly cry” really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Teen Mom OG is back! I added the “!” because I wasn’t sure if the eye-rolling emoji would translate here. Anyway, here we go. Once
Farrah – Pack the extra hair extensions (that we can always see the tracks on) because Farrah is heading overseas for a spell and needs to
Is it just me or was anyone else hoping this would be the Christmas episode of Teen Mom OG? Sometimes I dream that Butch would
Farrah – You know what always makes me cringe, besides Farrah’s burnt red weave, is when Debra still talks in the baby voice to Baby Goop.
Amber – Since Ambjikistan spent last episode chasing chickens with Leah, that’s enough time needed so she and her new boyfriend, Dom DeLuise, are heading to
Farrah — This trip to Italy is really never ending but, let’s just be clear, they saved the best for last. Farrah and Debz decide
Farrah – How come almost every scene with Farrah involves a cooking class or a unicorn? I was getting a bit bored until the scene with
Farrah – News of Debz upcoming wedding is really making the rounds. So much so that Jenelle apparently called Farrah (can you imagine how that call
Farrah – The way Farrah looks for real estate is pretty much the same way she does everything else. Oddly. She wants to look at a
Farrah – Last time on a very special Teen Mom OG (not the actual) Morgan Freeman and some other producers were about to storm the house
You know I love to sell out as much as the next person. Thanks to the Facebook Show ‘Shot Topics’ I get to do this
Things just don’t seem the same on TMOG without Farrah screaming at everyone. Alas, we move forward. Here’s the highlights from what went down last
If Sarah Palin isn’t in at least 10 episodes riding a moose in camo booty shorts, well then, I’m out. Just when you thought that
Well here we are again. Another season, another couple of ye old teenage mothers added to the mix. At this point I’m pretty sure that
It’s time for another episode of “3 Minute Scenes Before a Commercial.” This week, we experience about 3 minute scenes before we get a commercial.
Clap if you think this show is really going downhill on the Interest-o-Meter. No really, clap. I’ll be able to hear you. I’m like
When all else fails on this show, make Butch (allegedly) contractually obligated to make amends to his kids on camera. The only catch? The rehab
So I’m bummed I missed last weeks crapisode because I just got caught up and got to see the squalor that Tyler’s sister, Amber, left
It’s safe to say that this season’s Teen Mom is pretty much the pits. It’s also safe to say that I’ve missed a few episodes
Farrah (from Teen Mom…not that you needed the reminder) just released a “music video” for her new single “Blowin’” I mean. I’d place quotes around
This isn’t an open letter as much to Catelynn as it is to “The America,” the bong, a little bit to Catelynn and mainly to
It’s fitting that MTV would kick me in the teeth one last time with the part two of the Teen Mom reunion being about Maci
I’m glad that MTV decided to split this reunion up into two parts. I think it technically takes that long to try and discover exactly
Well folks, here we are. Like Farrah’s life when Debra grabs the butcher knives, all good things must come to an end. So for one
Well we’re almost done with this Teen Mom series which means that you’ll have to go back to actually paying attention to your own dumb
Hello my good people. It’s time for yet another episode of “Carly is Really Missing Out.” Before we continue I’d like to say a big
Time for another episode of “Spread ‘Em Young and Land on the Television.” Before we get to that, please be sure to come back tomorrow
Tonight on a very special episode of Teen Mom we deal with the delicate subject of domestic violence. Remember, abuse is never ok and if
That’s right folks it’s time for another episode of “Are You Sure It’s Not Too Late for An Abortion?” The answer to that is always
Time for another episode of “Now You’re Just Moms.” Join me on my Facebook page (click here) and be sure to click the “Recommend” button
Time for another episode of “I’m Barely Still a Teen, but Keep the Cameras Rolling and the Checks Coming!” Overall this crapisode was a snooze
Check your naughty factory for a fetus because it’s time for another crapisode of Ye Ole Teenage Madre. It’s both “old timey” and “Spanish.” I’ve
Hey y’all it’s time for another crapisode of Teen Mom. Sadly this episode was a little slow (like Kyle trying to find the toaster in
As promised here is the recap of the second crapisode of Teen Mom. Per usual, the most interesting person in this episode is Amber because,
Well, well, well. Look what the placenta eating cat dragged in. Teen Mom is back! And according to the 2,032 commercials that MTV has been
That title is based on fact. Yes, fact. I’ve surveyed over zero teenage mothers and ended up with that highly classified data. I’ve received a
And so we meet again. Dr Drew and his baby vomit green decides to bring Amber back after she stormed off stage due to her
Woo hoo! Let’s put these rust dumpsters under the microscope of Dr. Drew Potato Head and his removable hair piece! I always love how we
Well good day my good people of IBBB. As many of you know (those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter) I have been battling
Farrah – For those of you playing along at home, please stamp your Teen Mom BINGO card because, yes, we have found a Barney stuffed
Farrah – It’s been about 3 minutes since our little Glow Worm with a new rack has made the friendly skies unfriendly so it only
Farrah – Per usual we’re kicking things off with Farrah because her dirt bag attitude is this shows unsung hero. Miss Gulch is in rear
Farrah – Apparently getting your “Pizza Making” 2 year degree deserves an endless celebration because Farrah’s dad is taking her out to brunch. This, of
Farrah – Since Debra no longer seems to want to “slash-n-grab” Farrah’s face anymore we’re left with picking random storylines out of a black top-hat.
Farrah – It’s quite the celebratory day for our little Glow-Worm with bangs, Farrah, because she’s finally graduated with her associates degree from her local
Farrah – Oh Jesus, baby Goo is legit dressed like Dora and trying to help Farrah load the dishwasher. Yes, my friends, it has come
Amber – Manscape your junk fella’s because Amber Portwood is back on the meat market! The same as my mood changes with each beer I
Hello my good people. Before we get down to brass tax, let’s get down to brass tacks. For those of you who’ve helped me during
Farrah – Ooh la la! Someone is finally ready to get back into the wonderful world of modeling. I guess leopard print caftans aren’t going
Cruel world, it’s been too long! After waiting almost as long for my parents to allow me to watch Weird Science on VHS, Teen Mom
My Dearest Ambersand, I am forced to write this open letter to you as I am in fear of your life my own life. I
It’s been quite a year for girls who “gave it up” at a young age, found themselves “with child” and simultaneously starring in their own
Join Me on Facebook! Have you ever read the book “The Secret?” Don’t judge, I live my life by it, but I’ve figured out the
Join Me on Facebook! “Cotton candy sweet and low, let me see that tootsie roll (I said) tootsie roll. To the left, to the left,
Join Me on Facebook! Well get out the toothpicks and place them in your eyes because we have a 2-hour commitment to Teen Mom ahead
Join Me on Pull off your braces, crack open some Twisted Tea, and start your very own “sexy-dancing” because it’s the last episode of Teen
Join Me on Facebook! It’s Amber’s World, Amber’s World, Party Time, Excellent! I mean, come on. It’s like Santa Christ is hard at work over
Join Me on Facebook! Amber – It’s shocking to me that Gary isn’t at Amber’s House of Horror yet and they haven’t smoothed things over
IBBB has been blowing up with comments and personal emails asking me if Amber is going to go to jail for beating the bag out
Join Me on Facebook! Amber – Oh Amber. Amber, Amber, Amber. Amber and her friend, who I believe is also a “teenage mother” are out
Join Me on Facebook! You may think that this Teen Mom recap is over a day late. You would be incorrect. I deliberately withheld the
Join Me on Facebook! Farrah – You know who has a real clean property? Debra. She must have used her court-order trash claw to clean
Join Me on Facebook! Catelynn – Once again I’m kicking things off with Catelynn and crew because, well, I pretty much only want to watch
Join Me on Facebook! Sorry that this is just being posted now. Like the girls from 16 & Pregnant, I was late. Anycrap, here’s what
Join Me on Facebook! It’s the Easter crapisode of Teen Mom and, well, clearly Jesus has risen because this is one great crapisode! Here’s what
Join Me on Facebook! Catelynn – I used to love Catelynn and Tyler because they seemed the most normal with a great giant forehead head
Join Me on Facebook! It’s Valentine’s Day for the young mothers of Teen Mom and I just realized that whilst I tee off on them
Join Me on Facebook or Become a Teen Mom! It’s not normal that every time Teen Mom starts up I always sing “Sweet 16” in
Join Me on Facebook! I have to say, I’m so pleased that these girls got themselves knocked to the hell up when they were 16
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