Jennifer Lopez and the Case of the “Where’d Ya Go, Camel Toe?”

It seems like just a few days ago we were ringing in the New Year with a little J Lo camel toe and now, just yesterday, we see Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx leaving the Oribe Salon in Miami, Florida with her little camel hiding/suffocating in some black spandex-like pants.  I believe the kids […]

Jennifer Lopez New Years Eve Camel Toe. Wait. Is That What “Auld Lang Syne” Translates To?

I mean, ringing in the New Year any other way then with Jennifer Lopez’s camel toe is, well, just plain wrong, pointless, and illegal in the city that I’m the mayor of.  Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx was kind enough to play the role of the New York terrorist and “sing” some hits on New Years […]

"Excuse Me Ma'am, Do You Happen to Have a Pant-Suit That Will Really Make the Camel Toe Pop?"

  Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her husband Darth Anthony spent a little time on the orange carpet at the Miami Dolphins game the other day at the Land Shark Stadium in Miami, FL.  J. Glow made sure to steam her denim jumper from the “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” video and put […]

Sluts Wear Red….

….but not when it comes to Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx because she’s, well, just a simple girl from the Bronx.  As a sidenote, anytime I walk by an entrance to the 6 subway in NYC I always yell down the stairs, “J Lo?”  I’m cool like that.  It’s sadder because I actually do […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and the Case of the Elvis Mullet

No me gusta el palo de las Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx.  No yo soy un lapiz.  Donde estal el cuarto de bano?  These may be all grammatically incorrect Spanish sentences you may be asking yourself when looking at this photo of J Glow as she exited a hair salon in Beverly Hills the other […]

J Lo’s Triathlon Officially Cameltoe Free

I’m not going to lie. When I first heard Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx was going to be taking part in a triathlon, I assumed the events would be singing, dancing, and acting. I figured she wouldn’t have a chance at successfully completing that. However, once I realized it was running, biking, and swimming […]

St. Jennifer Lopez and Squiggy Do Italy

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her husband, Squiggy, really did up Italy big time over the 4th of July weekend. Nice way to celebrate America’s birthday, J Glow, by leaving it and going to Italy. Just a girl from the Bronx seems to forget it’s this crap bag country that made her into […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez & the Twins

What a blessed event. Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her wife, Marc Anthony, get off their private jet with their twins wrapped up in what I can only assume is office rugging from the late 1970’s. She’s just a simple girl from the Bronx, but not the normal Bronx we all know. I’m […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez Plays Politics

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her big bag-o-sass quickly walked up the halls of the Hart Senate Office Building yesterday and ducked into Obama’s office. The pictures show J Glow wearing all black (probably to help camouflage her big ass) and sunglasses as office buildings are usually very sunny and bright. Once word […]

I Want My J Lo TV

Holy Bailamos J Lo! Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx will be coming to a television set near you (hopefully in panoramic). Have you ever wondered what J Glow would do after she beautifully mastered the art of fine acting and mastered her singing career? Well wonder no longer because now you get to watch […]

Wanna See J Lo’s Twins?

Wanna see J Lo’s twins and I’m not talking about her ass cheeks! First of all, she made it clear, don’t call her J Lo. Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her two new kids that she shot out of her “gentlemen greeter” were on the cover of People Magazine. Check out Max and […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez Gives Birth

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx just gave birth. Ay! Ay! Ay! Looking at the recent size of her, I’m assuming she gave birth in a cardboard box underneath the basement stairs, but regardless she pumped out 2 kids. Un muchacho y una muchacha. That’s Spanish for “a boy and a girl.” Thanks for teaching […]

J Lo: Just a Girl From The Bronx

Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx really is just a simple girl from the Bronx who’s attending her simply Bronx-like baby shower at the Gramercy Park Hotel. Oh, her baby shower was thrown by Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas who produced J Glow in the “hit” movie “Maid in Manhattan.” Other simple people that were in attendance were […]

Mariah, J Lo, and a Pig Walk Into a Bar

Oh yeah! It’s time for a good old fashioned American and Bronxian Sass-Off! If you thought that you’re life would be complete if you could only hear Mariah Carey and Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx singing together on stage then you will be sadly disappointed. When asked about the liklihood of this happening Mariah […]

Me and St. Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx

So I was walking to work yesterday morning, trying to dodge and weave against the other 212 million people who were also walking to work, when all of a sudden I was walking by Good Morning America and thought to myself, “Is that Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx yelling into a microphone?” And….it was. […]

No More J Lo Ass Shots, Sorry

Say adios to the ass and/or boobs of Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx. She will no longer be doing any type of nudity in any of her future movies. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that she won’t be doing any more nudity or the fact that she actually will have “future movies.” […]

J Lo + Spice Girls = End of World

First off, my photoshopping skills have hit a new level of tragedy, yet I’m proud. Second, people say that all the floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, and fires are all signs of the end of the world. I disagree. Clearly, Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx in concert with the Spice Girls would be God’s final straw […]

J Lo to Continue Ruining Music, Live.

Fresh off the heels of her “hit” movie El Cantante, Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx and her husband Marc “turrets” Anthony have decided to join forces once again and go on tour again. They’re like the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill for those of us who look forward to blood shooting out of our […]

Don’t Call Her “Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx?”

Ok, well she’s not asking people to not call her, “Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx,” but she is asking people not to call her J. Lo anymore. According to The Sun J. Glow said that the name J. Lo was supposed to be “fun” but it “got out of control” and “crazy.” Really? Ok, […]

Saint Jennifer Lopez Loses at the Parade

Yesterday was the famous “Puerto Rican Day Parade” here in NYC yesterday and you know what that means….Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx would certainly be on a float plugging something that she was doing. J. Glow didn’t disappoint and plugged her movie, “El Cantante” which just happens to be Spanish for, “I Don’t Believe […]