Funny Real Housewives of New Jersey Recaps Like You've Never Read Before


The new season of RHONJ is finally back on  10.4.17! So why not get all caught up on your favorite trash-bag friends from Jersey and welcome back Danielle Staub with open tanned arms.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Stop F’ing Chasing Me!

Join Me on Facebook! We kick things off at Casa de Foreclosure where everyone is in a frenzy trying to get out the door so that Barney Rubble can take the girls to some karate class.  Teresa makes sure to brush the sh*t out of their hair and, like a true New Jersey trash heap, […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The Country Club Triathalon

Join Me on Facebook!  Calm Down! I mean, come on.  Was this crapisode not all it was cracked up to be and more?  I think it’s hard to compare it to the “table flip” of last season as that consisted more of heated exchanges about this past, while this episode it was more of a […]

“Danielle is a Time Bomb Waiting to Go Off.” My 15 Minutes with Kim G from Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Join Me on Facebook! Real Housewives of New Jersey Recaps Every once in a while I turn off the TV and decided to interview someone who brings such joy to my sad, pathetic, yet interesting (ish) life.  This time around I’ve chosen Kim Granatell (Kim G) from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Kim G […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: “Is Bitch Better?” I Guess It Is. I. Guess. It. Is.

Join Me on “The Facebook.”  You’ll Love It! Here’s what went down last night on The Real Housewives of New Jersey: There can’t be enough Caroline Manzo siblings in my opinion so I’m psyched that we get to meet two more of Caroline’s sisters who are named Frannie and Cookie.  I mean, come on.  Brilliant.  […]

Why Do I Have a Feeling Danielle Sings This to Dina While Hiding in a Tree?

Danielle Staub “Real Close” Where do we even start?  Where?  Should we tackle the fact that Danielle was sitting at the piano while holding a microphone and not technically playing the piano?  Nah.  How about we start with Danielle keeping her eyes closed 90% of the time?  If you’re not a blind piano playing R&B […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Elvira, the Party Planner from Hell, Can Go Scratch (Spit)

Sellout Opportunity: Vote for Me Here for MTV TJ (just fill out @ibbb).  Back to your regularly scheduled programming. I miss Dina already.  And obviously I’m not alone.  My other personality misses her too.  Also Carolina, Jacqueline, and Teresa miss her whilst they’re having lunch and she is not there.  Teresa must be in mourning […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Dina Leaves the Show, My Life Loses Any and All Meaning

Time for another Crazy-Bag-o-Real-Housewives-of-New-Jersey!  It was Bravo overload last night.  Here’s what went down, besides Danielle and Kim G on the stripper pole, last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey: Join Me on Facebook! We’re back from the “…to be continued” from last week where Dina and her pink strands of hair are meeting […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Didn’t “Kim G” Get the Memo That Money Can’t Buy You Class…My Friend?

Update:  My Exclusive Interview With Kim G from the Real Housewives of New Jersey! Join Me on Facebook! Here’s what went down, last night, on Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa and Barney Rubble are heading home to their legit castle with the new baby.  On the way home “Tre” tries to convince Barney that […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Guns in a Safe and Danielle’s 80’s Friends

Join Me on Facebook! Welcome to another recap of Real Housewives of New Jersey.  This sh*t better start getting good because I’m losing hope that we’re really going to see a train wreck.  I mean, I know it’s coming but I don’t want to have to wait until the last episode and waste all these […]

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: To Puke or Not to Puke?

Join Me on Facebook!  You’ll Hate It! Open up your kitchen garbage bag and scatter the trash all over your couch; grab a 6-pack of Zima, a small bottle of Chambord, and a huge plastic crazy straw; and spray yourself with a mix of your 1988 free samples of Exclamation and Drakkar Noir because it’s […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Dina Stocked Shelves, Danielle Stalked Dina

Go get your prosciutto sandwich out of the oven and start mopping your friggin linoleum floors because the Real Housewives of New Jersey is back!  Now I don’t know how they’re ever going to top the table flip from last year, but since Dina, Caroline, Theresa, and Jacqueline have been on a media blitz for […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 2 Preview: How Do You Trump a Table Flip?

Has it been almost a year already?  It seems like just yesterday I was watching the last episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey and thinking, “How am I going to make it through a whole year without this garbage?”  I remember writing a living-will, you know, just in case.  Well I made it through […]

Prostitution Whore Wins in Court

Obviously there’s gotta be somethin’ else!  And you know what?  There was.  Our very own prostitution whore, Danielle Staub, from Real Housewives of New Jersey has won a little court case that, wait for it….wait for it….was all caught on camera by the folks at Bravo and will be seen during the next season of […]

Obviously, There Has to Be Something Else. It’s Not Just Name Change and Arrested!

Well if that face doesn’t ring in the New Year, I don’t know what does!  Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated the New Year with her alleged boyfriend, Dr. Michael Fiorillo at the China Club in NYC.  Random drunken sources are also claiming that her boyfriend is also her plastic surgeon […]

I Am Paying Attention. Obviously There's Gotta Be Something Else!

  I’m like Pavlov’s dog.  Every time I see a picture of Teresa from Real Housewives of New Jersey, I automatically slam my hands down and yell “Engaged 19 times!?”  Well it’s either that or my turrets.  The results haven’t come back yet.  Anyhairline, Teresa Giuduce attended the 2009 “My Hero” Gala for AIDS in […]

Regis and Kelly Take on the Real Housewives of New Jersey

  Regis and Kelly’s 2009 Halloween Spectacular – “Real Housewives” Parody @ Yahoo! Video Sure this is a few days old by now, but I like to not blog on the weekends so that I can drink a lot and take many naps.  Many naps.  Anycrap, Regis and Kelly dressed up as about 1500 different […]

Real Housewives of New Jersey. My Mind Just Imploded!

I don’t want to oversell this, but the best show that has ever been created is going to air on May 12th.  I, of course, am talking about The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  I’m almost speechless.  Almost.  To me, the Real Housewives of New Jersey seems like it’s going to be “The Naked Gun” […]