Who Wants To See Some Rich Olsen Hole?

Wait, is this what “the kids” are doing these days? Ripping holes in their clothes? Is $2 dollar crack-whore really “in” these days? Damn, Whitney Houston was way ahead of her time. I actually miss the old cracked out Whitney. Ugh. Oh well, enough about me. Mary-Michelle-Kate-Ashley-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen (I have no idea which Olsen this is) […]

Mary Kate Writes About a Bag & Bags & a Bag

Do you ever wonder what billionaire’s think about? I do. I only know what millionaire’s think about, as I am a millionaire. Well, billionaire’s think about bags. Yes, “bags” and not the kind that Mary-Kate Olsen typically wears. I’m actually talking a purse. Mary- Kate Olsen wrote a little article in the New York Times […]

Billionaire Olsen Can’t Afford Clothes

Mary-Kate-Michelle-Olsen-Tanner was out shopping in Beverly Hills in her Muppet-fur coat and white/grey fright wig. She made sure to wear her best pants (?), you know, the ones with the holes in them. Sexy. I don’t want to say too much, but notice how the holes are right around the knee area? Michelle Tanner has […]

Mary-Kate is the Abominable Snowslut?

Mary-Kate Olsen was out and about in LA dressed like the Abominable Snowslut. I actually feel bad for the Abominable Snowman who is probably running around naked right now after being skinned-alive by Mary-Kate. And how in the hell can she get around with that purse in front of her face? She officially looks crazy, […]

The Olsen Sluts Dress Like the Elderly

Remember that one episode of Full House when little Michelle Tanner put on her grandmothers shoes, pearls, and hat? Yeah, well it wasn’t cute then and it isn’t cute now. I am officially going on the record saying that I don’t find the Olsen Sluts attractive at all. Ok, well that’s a stretch. The one […]

Billionaires Can’t Afford New Shoes

Why is it every time I spot an Olsen they/he/she always have on the same pair of shoes. I only notice them because they always scare me only because they look like they take up half of their body. Do you think the Olsen Sluts are trying to tell us something? I definitely think so. […]

Mary Kate: Carpet and Drapes Don’t Match

I don’t need to see a typical “Britney Spears Getting Out of the Car Stanky Putanky Slip” to know that the carpet does NOT match the drapes for Mary Kate Olsen. Even though wonders can be done with the magic of “dye,” to “dye” anything that blonde could potentially make you not able to have […]

Mary Kate Olsen: Too Weak to Stand

Poor Mary Kate Olsen. And I mean “poor” in every sense of the word. Not only does she look she look “poor” as in homeless, but she also has some poor posture. See what happens when you don’t eat meat….or any morsel of food for that matter? At what point to do you look in […]