Lohan Should Have Gone With a Different Background for Her Mugshot

Well, there you have it. Lohan’s mugshot.  I think the orange jumpsuit really brings out her eyes and hides the freckle farm too.  Yawn.  Lohan should have asked for some alternative mugshot backgrounds that would really send a message to the public that she’s ok, having fun, and being easy, breezy, beautiful.  Here are some […]

Lindsay Lohan is Just Going to Go to Jail for a Spell. Hopefully This Takes Care of That Pesky “Coke Bloat,” Dina Ponders.

I don’t care if she serves 90 days, 23 days, or just a side of ham and hash browns. I don’t even care if Linday Lohan loses her freckle rights in prison.  Basically I’m just trying to work the term “spell” back into my vocabulary and, quite honestly, I kinda thought the “coke bloat” was pretty […]

Odd, I Have a Feeling Linds Lo and I are Thinking the Same. Exact. Thing.

Seriously, what channel is this on?  This is the precise moment when the thought entered Lindsay Lohan’s mind, “I am shooting the the remake of Night Court, right?  But when did Roz become a lawyer and why is Dan Fielding just standing there in the background not saying anything??” More:  21 Chic Bags & Purses […]

Come On, Lindsay is Totally Fine. The Court is Just Making Her Wear a SCRAM Bracelet, Submit to Random Drug Tests, and Not Drink Alcohol. Everyone Has to Do That Anyway.

My little Lohan, deaths door Lohan, I love to brush your stinky hair! Why is Lindsay stuck in Cannes?   Oh someone stole her passport.  Someone also stole her beers, so someone better replace those too.  Sadly, no one stole her freckles.  There are plenty of those to go around. After Linds-o-palooza missed her court date, […]

No, no, no! Doesn’t Michael Lohan Know Anything About How an Intervention is Supposed to Go?!

Seriously it’s like if you want to give Lindsay Lohan an intervention you should just do it yourself.  Michael Lohan is useless.  According to the crackheads over at TMZ, Michael Lohan and some Sheriff’s deputies headed over to Casa de Lohan to check on the “welfare” of his daughters, Lindsay and Ali (please repeat those […]

Look Who’s Up!

Ah Lindsay Lohan.  She’s like a fresh morning dew, on a brand new day.  Looking greasy easy, sleazy breezy, alcohol-filled beautiful, Lindsay successfully landed at JFK airport the other day to take care of her many business ventures (I couldn’t even type that with a straight face) in the Big Orange (freckle). Just think, all […]

Dina Lohan Says “Lindsay is Fine.” Here’s Why I Disagree…

Michael Lohan held a random press conference yesterday that TMZ ran live.  Go figure.  In the press conference, Michael Lohan begged his daughter, Lindsay, to check into rehab for a prescription drug problem.  In response to Michael’s press conference, Dina Lohan said, I have a criminal protective order against him ’til 2011. He’s 1 year […]

Lindsay Lohan Fell Into a Cactus. So, Sounds Like She’s Doing Better, No?

Yawn.  Lindsay Lohan fell into a giant cactus when she arrived at a friends house in the Hollywood Hills the other night.  If I had a dime for every time I heard the phrase, “Lindsay Lohan fell into a cactus” I would have over $548,451.80. That poor cactus.  I would get it tested STAT!  Imagine […]

Hey Lindsay? Georgia Rule: You’re Not Getting $100 Million

Sounds like someones freckles are dangerously close to her brain.  Lindsay Lohan is very mad and she’s not going to take it any more.  I mean she’ll forget all about this as soon as she sees a shiny silver object, but in the meantime she’s very mad.  According to the NY Post,  Lindsay Lohan is […]

Jesus Christ it’s Lindsay H. Lohan!

I mean as if Lindsay No Pants doesn’t have enough reasons why she’s going to burn in the fiery pits of hell, she can now add this to the list:  Posing Like Jesus Dying on the Cross with Modern Version of Crown of Thorns for Magazine Cover.  Check, check, and check! Lindsay Lohan shot the […]

Lindsay Lohan Looks….Wait For It….Wait For It…..”Decent” at the Golden Globes

I mean sure she was dressed like the person who controls the guillotine in Robin Hood, but Lindsay Lohan actually looked like she wasn’t about to collapse or implode while at the 2010 InStyle Golden Globes after-party in Beverly Hills last night. So, good for her.  She should always wear a hood like ET in […]

Lindsay Lohan’s Bikini Must Stink Like a BINGO Hall

Lindsay No Pants was feeling easy, breezy, smokey, and beautiful whilst on a yacht (that I’ll assume she’s cleaning to made ends meet) in St Barth’s around New Year’s Eve.  Holding a cigarette over the railing of the boat like a skank in heat, Lindsay tossed her hair back in the  cancer filled wind and […]

When Did Lindsay and Ali Lohan Turn Into the Olsen Twins?

Like a fresh morning dew on a brand new day, Lindsay Lohan, Ali Lohan, and Ginger Lohan all took part in some holiday family bonding while at the Rangers game in NYC over the weekend.  When I saw the first photo of all three “kids” yelling I assumed they were just around the Lohan family […]

Fun With Lindsay Lohan's Myspace! Humans Are Creepy.

 That’s right boys, girls, and those who have both a pee pee and a wee wee, it’s time to check in on Lindsay Lohan and see just how she’s doing on  Myspace and, more importantly, how her “fans” are doing.  Why Lohan’s Myspace page isn’t the next location for “To Catch a Predator” is beyond […]

Lohan Looks Like She Leaves a Ring Around the Tub

Lindsay Lohan, accompanied by her freckles, was out and about shopping up a storm in LA over the weekend.  Lindsay decided to break up her all black clothing streak and sport a white flannel-like shirt and t-shirt.  Sexy? Nope.  She couldn’t resist wearing her black leggings, though, that I bet smell like the basement of […]

Don't Tap the Glass, As the Animals May Become Agitated

Boo! Hiss! Boo!  Lohan was heckled by some paparazzi as she left a medical building in LA yesterday, but that didn’t stop  my little Lohan to yell back at the paparazzi.  She’s a real life dream.  She looks so rested and fresh and these photos of her yelling don’t make her seem the least bit […]

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful

Wow!  Look who looks all rested and fresh as a Spring morning!  Lindsay Lohan looks wonderful.  Sure her hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed in 4 weeks and is filled with knots.  Sure it looks like she has a black eye.  Sure her leggings look like they haven’t been washed in 2 weeks, have […]

Freddie Kruger Tries to Kill My Little Lohan!

My little Lohan, orangey Lohan, I love to see your horses-mane hair. Freddie Kruger and Freckly McOrange Freckle were reportedly walk-fighting whilst walking and fighting (hence the name) on the streets of New York City after Freddie Kruger’s sisters fashion show….that Whitney Port also attended.  Of course the paparazzi were there to capture each magic […]

Lohan Goes to Super Bowl Party Because Lesbians Love Football

Lindsay Lohan put on her tightest jeans, you know, the ones that crinkle at the knees because they’re so tight? You know, the kind that create “cat whiskers” at the crotch because they’re so tight? Yeah, those. Anyway, Lindsay and her Dina Lohan styled hair headed out to the ESPN Super Bowl party in Tampa, […]

Fun With Lindsay Lohan's Myspace Blog: Everyone is Creepy

IBBB is bringing back a new segment tentatively titled, “Fun With Lindsay Lohan’s Myspace Blog!” Catchy. When Lindsay No Pants blogs on her Myspace account people not only listen and comment, but all the freaks come out of the woodwork. The other day Lindsay blogged something about some song. Pointless. Below are some of my […]