Got ‘Stache?

I mean, come on.  Every once in a while Jesus Claus throws a laugh my way and this is one of those times.  Lauren Conrad is probably the perfect person to be showing off her milk mustache, as I have been obsessed with her own mustache for what seems like years.  I hope they didn’t […]

Oh Hey There Quitter!

The girl who will always be known as the girl who never went to Paris, Lauren Conrad, while dead to me is apparently alive to other people as she played host for the night at Bank nightclub inside the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas just the other day.  I’m still pissed at her for leaving […]

Where's WaldLO?

  See what I did there?  Nice, right?  Layup joke.  Anyscript, it’s nice to see that LC and LO are still chums even though LC has abandon us as a country.  I thought the signs in the background truly represent what I consider these girls to be like.  First they’re all like, “Yeah, I’m open” […]

Lauren Conrad Quits "The Hills"

Well you have some nerve, Lauren Conrad, SOME NERVE!  I have half-a-mind to take you over my knee and give you the spanking of your life!  We’re in a recession and you’re going to pull this crap?  I should wash your mouth out with cheap gin and force you to wear your own clothing line. […]

Lauren Conrad Deleted Me From Her Twitter Account. See You on Judge Judy!

Well isn’t this a fine how-do-ya do!?  I had been following Lauren Conrad on Twitter for weeks now and noticed that my “following” number went down.  Who did I lose?  Similar to a Myspace friend deleting you, you feel like you’ll never figure out who dropped off the face of the earth.  Well I just […]

The Hills Gang Goes to Hawaii! I Hope They Return the Tiki to Professor Whitehead!

Bonus points to whoever got my joke in the title and by “bonus points” I mean “imaginary nothings.” For those of you, like me, who are are trying to fill the void in your lives ever since The Hills has been on hiatus, well do I have the perfect fix for you!  It’s two parts […]

Lauren Conrad Films Her "Hills" Work Scenes That Include, You Know, Eating Cake

I miss The Hills. There, I said it. I miss it. Don’t judge me. I can’t wait for March so that my Hills life can get back on track. Anyscript, Lauren Cockring was filming scenes for the latest season of The Hills, which included “sitting on her chair with a blank computer screen at her […]

Any Chance This Was the Dress Lauren Conrad Wanted To Be Buried In, According to Her Will?

Lauren Conrad, dressed like she’s going to the funeral of Spencer Pratt, was all smiles while attending the Dolce & Gabana opening night benefit for the Art Elysium. I don’t really care what any of that means. Point being, LC looks like a widow. I forgot to mention this during yesterday’s Hills recap, but do […]

This Time Last Year: Lauren Defends “Hills” Rumors

Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what […]

Fun With Lauren Conrad’s Myspace!

Me gusta Myspace! You may remember we had some fun with Lindsay Lohan’s Myspace blog a few weeks ago. Well good old Lauren Cockpig posted a little blog about a recent rumor and, well, the fans came rushing to her defense. Let me just say that no one is a bigger loser-tool-douche-bag than me, but […]

Are Lauren and Heidi Friends Again? Check the Script.

The Hills Recaps! Click Here! Check Out Past Hills Recaps Here! If you don’t want to know if Lauren and Heidi and her new chin, new nose, new boobs, and new lips are friends again don’t continue reading. IBBB could just be tricking you. Perhaps Lauren is only friends with Heidi’s new lips and not […]

She’ll Have to Bend Slightly More Forward….

Yeah, if Lauren Conrad ever wants to receive an Emmy Award for real she’ll need to be bent over a little more than she is right now to even be considered for it.

LC Takes the Britney Spears Approach of Holding Stuff

Lauren Cockpig was running errands all around Hollywood yesterday in her jogging pants and wifebeater. I must say….pretty hot. I especially like how she’s holding two iced drinks directly in front of her rack-attack. But that’s just me. You may like other things. LC almost looks a little like Britney as she holds everything she […]

Meet Holly Montag, No Really.

Hi everyone! Meet Holly Montag/Montard. She’s the sister of Heidi Montard. She enjoys big white teeth that are a bit bucky beaver and sandals that lace up around her cankles. Holly also enjoys such activities as filming new scenes of The Hills with Lauren Conrad and never eating the sandwich that’s in front of her. […]

LC and LOser Do Something, Technically.

I’m not so good with words. What’s the definition of “irony?” Is that the same as “ironic?” I believe so. Anyhills, Lauren Cockring and LOser Bosworthless were at the “Do Something Awards” which are a pre-party to the Teen Choice Awards. If, like me, you’re wondering what any of those things are, you’re old. Lauren […]

Lauren Conrad Tries the Cowgirl Look. Yee-Ho!

Yeah! Lauren Cockring is 2 for 2 in the past week for me. Last week she appeared all sloppy drunk and hot. Now, we have pictures of Lauren doing a little shopping yesterday dressed like a cowgirl. I like it. She’s totally that girl who puts on her cowgirl themed outfit, heads on out to […]

Lauren Conrad Gets Sloppy Drunk. Nice!

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Lauren Conrad a bit on the tipsy side. Oh, and by “tipsy” side I really mean “3-sheets to the wind.” LC and the gang were out enjoying themselves at Crown Bar last night. Lauren made sure to put on her best Target palm-tree themed anti-mold shower curtain because […]

LC Brings Her Talent to Batman Opening

When I think of the World Premiere of “The Dark Knight” I definitely think of Lauren Conrad from The Hills. The 2 go together like jihad and puppies. LC gave her signature smile and was sporting a dress that I’m pretty sure is made of black electrical tape. Now I don’t want to say anything, […]

Lauren Conrad’s Boobs, Just Because

Everyone’s favorite “Hills” pain in the arse was all boobs and drunk eyes while leaving Coco de Ville just the other night. The Hills and boobs all in one blog post!?! I believe I just hit tilt on the “Awesome-O-Meter.” And that meter does exist, by the way. I think LC is sending a message […]

This is the Lauren Conrad I Like

Gas prices aren’t the only thing that went up when I saw this picture. Oh snap! Lauren Conrad recently showed us all what a big independent girl she is by pumping her own gas in high heels and a little messy hair. Now this is the Lauren Conrad I love. She isn’t saying anything and […]