By now we all have seen the footage that the drunken skankbots over at TMZ have of Jenelle beating the bag out of some chick on her own front lawn. Now if you forget who Jenelle is, she’s Barb’s little b*tch of a daughtah. Sure, I could just run the same tasteless video that every other site has been running but since I’m a toolbox-garbage-heap mix I figured I’d like to show you how I see the fight going down…if I was casting and producing. Walk with me, talk with me, do poop with me.
Be Social: Join Me!
Narration Inspired by Barb:
~ Oh what did Mr. Disrespectful there put you up to this, Jenelle? He’s such a losaaah! You always go for these loooooosaaah’s like Andreeeeew. What aaah you gonna hit me? Jenelle I’m gonna call the cops and then yaw gonna be outta here. That’s it, yaw done.
~ Lawdy hallelujah you just knocked my blue shirt right off my body, Jenelle! Grandpa Mike, where the hell aaaah you? Jenelle is goin all 6’s and 7’s on my ass. Where’s Jace? Jenelle just don’t hit me in my aaaaaahms because I need ’em to slice the honey baked ham sliced thin at Walmart. Come on Jenelle, leave me alone I’m the assistant supervisaaah for the weekend shift.
~ Well aren’t we havin’ a la-da-da time! I know this isn’t the best time to bring this up or nuthin’, Jenelle, but YOU KNOW WHAT? You haven’t been a paaaaaarent to this baby since it was bawn! Yaw like the worst piece of sh*t mothaaah evaaah since, like, me!
~ Ya know, Jenelle, don’t think yaw goin’ out Friiiidaaaaay! Why the hell am I still on the ground? Yaw punching me and I’m out bustin’ my baaaaalllls, makin’ minimum wage, tryin’ ta survive! You don’t care about anyone but yaw God-damn boyfriend. Where is Kieffah by the way? And where the hell is my Disovaaaah caaaahd?
~ We ahhhh so white trash. That’s it, I’m callin’ the cops and then yaw nevaaah gonna see this here baby again. We’re goin’ to court. And why the hell is Farrah here?
See? Now wasn’t that more fun than watching the video? I think so. Although in my ending, Barb would have won the fight. I mean, in my world Amber and Gary would be fist fighting on the neighbors lawn and Debra would be there poking at them with her trash claw. Oh if I could just run the world. One day.