The Best (and Most Ridiculous) Harriet Carter Products of All Time!

We couldn't love the Harriet Carter catalog any more than we do. Check out our favorite white-trash products over the past 8 years!

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Harriet Carter Wednesday: Uh, I'll Take the Mystery Prize, Monty!

Another Wednesday, another Harriet Carter crapshoot.  I’m pretty excited about one of the products this week because I have absolutely no idea what it is.  And similar to the fun of trying to figure out if Wendy Williams is a man or a woman, the guessing is the best part.  This week Harriet tells us […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Harriet, Literally, Scares the Sh*t Out of You. Howling.

Happy Spooktacular Harriet Carter Wednesday!  See what I just did there?  It’s the week of Halloween and I used the word “spooktacular.”  It really made the sentence festive and I think people will be able to relate to it.  I’m a wicked pissah writer like that and junk.  Anyway, this week Harriet shows us innovative […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Well, You Wanted Kids.

So it’s Harriet Carter Wednesday.  What are you gonna do about it?  You wanna fight me?  Let’s go then.  I’ll meet you out front of the Carter Factory after school, you jerk.  No idea.  Anyway,  this week Harriet helps you find new and inventive ways to sell your snot-nosed children, tricks your kids with the […]

Car Crashes, Insulting Violations, and Sassy Wall Art. It Must Be Harriet Carter Wednesday. It Is. That Wasn't a Trick or Anything.

Oh. Well hello.  Strange seeing you here.  Welcome to the 14,538 Harriet Carter Wednesday in the year of our Lord.  I have no idea what that means, but sometimes I think that if God didn’t rest on the 7th Day we could have actually had an 8th day of the week, which could have been […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday and the Case of the Halloween Skank

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday to one, all, and none.  All at the same time.   This week Harriet brushes your fright-wig with realistic color, gives a shout-out to the Halloweenie Whore, and scares the skid-marks out of your underpants with what I can only assume is a three-headed owl.  All normal. Let’s go! Product # 1 […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: It Smells Like Pussy Time!

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday Thursday!  With The Hills now on Tuesday nights, the Harriet Carter time slot has been temporarily moved to Thursday.  Perhaps I’ll switch it to Monday.  At the end of the day it’s really not any of your business.  Nosy.  Anyway, this week Harriet keeps your stuff safe for about 10 seconds, […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Highlight Your Burglars Hair and LOL. TTYL.

Well, well, well.  So here we are again.  Funny seeing you here.  How could I not start this site up on any other day than Harriet Carter Wednesday.  I’m sure the Harriet Carter sales have been down by at least 75% since I stopped blogging.   Well, like the herpes allegedly on Harriet’s vaginastein, I’m back […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Well You Look Familiar

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday.  We are almost half way through the year and you know what that means….let’s take a look back at what Harriet has been selling. Product # 1 – Uh-oh! Is your porcelain chipping? Who gives an F. The real issue is why in the hell is your refrigerator in the bathroom? […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Like a Screen Door on a Battleship

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  Do you think if there were ever an E! True Hollywood Story on Harriet Carter I would be able to take part in it?  I hope so.  I will register that prayer to Santa Christ and Jesus Claus and see if he can make that happen.  Anyjunk, this week Harriet has […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: If You Need This Stuff, Please Leave Planet Earth.

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  Every now and then Harriet comes out with some real crash-bang-zinger products that make me want to never visit middle America because I imagine houses being filled with this crap.  That probably explains why everyone hangs out at either a gas station or Super Walmart.  But I digest.  Anywaste, this week […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Cat Sneakers is the Last Sign

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  It’s been hotter than a nun after 3 vodka-tonics here in NYC and I, of course, blame the Swine Flu for this.  Why they’re not calling it the “Pig Ouchies” is beyond me.  Our one chance to name a new virus and we blow it.  Eh, such is life.  Anypig, this week […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Spring Into Failure Model Chick!

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  What a real treat we have around the IBBB office for you today!  That’s right boys, girls, and transgender individuals, Failure Model Chick is back!  And, to top it off, she’s in a one-piece bathing suit.  She is quite the dish!  This week, FMC makes a comeback, Harriet cures the blind, […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: A Real Hoot (you'll get that reference later)

Why happy Harriet Carter Wednesday boys and girls!  Pull up your nap mats and pull down your shirts because this week Harriet is helping diddlers stick to their story, gives the gift of “pen” to graduates, and replaces your stomach with your rack (somehow).  Let’s go! Product # 1 – Hey there kids!  Is your […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Hoppy Easter. Get It? Hoppy. Rabbits Hop. F. U.

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday…the Wednesday before Easter!  For those of you who don’t know what Easter is, it’s basically the day when Eli Whitney created the cotton gin so that he could make a real-life Easter bunny who would help Jesus carry the cross and figure out if we’ll have 6 more weeks of winter.  […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Fun With Words!

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday! Do you ever wonder if Harriet sleeps hanging upside down with a Snuggie on?  I do.  This week Harriet hijacks your navigation system, reminds us what animals are really for, and lets us know what will happen if you goose a dragon.  Let’s go!   Product # 1 – Now here’s […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Harriet of Yesteryear

Yeah let’s bring it back to yesteryear!  This is kinda like when you were looking forward to watching The Office and then as you go to flip it on you realize that it’s  repeat.  Well this is a repeat…and I don’t make anywhere near what those guys make, so this seems fair.  Enjoy! Product # […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Bumpits!

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday and belated Ash Wednesday.  Since I worship both Santa Christ and Harriet Carter I thought this was important to note.  This week, Harriet sexifies her hair, lets her fake bird take a hit from her bong, and lets us know that she just created skidmarks in her granny-panties.  All wonderful.  Let’s […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Move Your Caulk, Please.

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  When are the Ides of March?  Perhaps today.  One may never know.  Now go back and read those first 4 sentences with a British accent.  It just makes it better.  Anyway, this week Harriet helps us with our caulk, kills some happy harmless cartoon bugs, and makes cleaning the house, sexy!  […]

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday: The One With the T-Shirt Diss!

Why Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday boys and girls.  And skanks.  Boys, girls, and skanks.  And pervs.  Boys, girls, skanks, and pervs.  Yup, that covers it.  I have a confession to make.  Sometimes when sifting through the HC crapalog I sometimes see products that I actually kinda want.  I mean, I’m not discussing any of those […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Hide Your Crap!

Grab your wallet and get ready to spend because it’s Harriet Carter Wednesday!  In today’s tough economic climate people still need to receive gifts.  You need to buy them.  Maybe you can buy some of these gems?  See how that works?  I’m helpful.  This week Harriet helps to pre-qualify burglars, makes t-shirts confusing, and allows […]