The Best (and Most Ridiculous) Harriet Carter Products of All Time!

We couldn't love the Harriet Carter catalog any more than we do. Check out our favorite white-trash products over the past 8 years!

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Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Because You Love Christmas Pageantry

What better way to kick off the holiday season than for IBBB to pick his (insert Oprah voice) favoooorrrriiiite thiiiiiing!  It beats picking my nose, I suppose.  This week the Haute Couture designers at the House of Harriet have given you your best option on how to really impress your family and friends in the rusted […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: The Bidet to Go!

Finally there’s a new way to clean your Bippity Boppity Boo! Time and time again you take the meanest Shasta McNasty your body can produce and you’re forced, by law, to clean yourself up with toilet paper, you know, like a cave person. Well what if I were to tell you that you could now […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: A Gift for the Person Who Has Nothing

A reader of the IBBB (Kristen) left me a note on the Facebook telling me about a dream she had that I brought back the Harriet Carter.  Since Oprah says to dream big I figured I would make her dream come true and pull Harriet out from the rusted out dumpster she lives in/shares with […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sluttin’ For the Holidays

Last week we had Diddle Fingers and this week, thanks to the fashonista who failed at becoming a Maxxinista at Harriet Carter, we are happy to introduce you to Slut Fingers:  Holiday Edition.  Ho ho ho.  Literally.  Christmas is just under 8-months away so now is the perfect time to start figuring out just how […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Diddle Fingers

Finally!  A clothing line for your small town pedophile.  This is totally an untapped market and one that, clearly, we should be focusing on.  Gone are the days of the ice cream man in that rusty truck trying to snatch (giggity) up your kids.  Ice cream blow pops are so 1986 and, let’s face it, […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: How Smart Are Your Kids…Really?

Tired of trying to keep your kids and their slimy little fingers away from the electrical outlets?  Getting a little bored with watching them clumsily crawl aimlessly around the house?  Looking to add a little excitement to your day?  Well if you answered “I’m an idiot!” to any of these questions, boy does Harriet have […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Puffy Leather Couch Stabbings

If you know me you know there’s one goal I have in my life and that is, of course, to stab a puffy leather couch with a butcher knife.  That’s all.  Some people dream big, some just want to slash leather.  I’m not saying it’s normal.  Well, the scientists over at the Harriet Carter labs […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Bruise Cream, Because Hitting = Love

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday!  Looks like we’re two weeks going strong!  Who knew?  I mean, I knew but that’s only because I’m the one writing this junk.  Was that not clear?  This week Harriet Carter is helping you recover from a little issue.  A little issue called, “Abuse.”  Let’s go! Playing another round of “Ike […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sexy Sock Time

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday on a Thursday!  When there aren’t a bunch of WT teenage mothers beating the bag out of others via “the television”  I like to change things up and go back to my roots which is, of course, making fun of white trash products.  Enter:  Harriet Carter.  For those of new to […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Now With Bad Child Models!

Oh Jesus, child “actors.”  There’s nothing really wrong with this product in question, per se, even though fake table covers are the equivalent of puffy leather couches that are scattered around the homes of “the poors.”  It’s like if your table is all banged up just get a new one.   Don’t smother it with a […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sleeve Garters

Oh and all of a sudden you’re the Queen of England when it’s time to wash the dishes?  Well excuse me, Your Royal Highness, whilst I genuflect as you scrub caked on carcass off your meatloaf pan.  Introducing “Garter Sleeves.”  Garter Sleeves: Because only animals allow wet cuffs.  So the next time you’re washing Fluffy […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Tricks for Nana

Door Exercises for Nana – Who’s ready to trick Nana!?  If you shot your hand up and yelled out “I am, I am!” put your hand down because I can’t hear you.  This is just a website.  Geesh.  Anyway, if times are getting a little stale around your home then why not simply hook up […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sexcuses

The Magnetic Pad – Are you tired of “doing sex” with your husband?  Have you used “time of the month” excuses at least twice a week since the late ‘80s?  Did you think your cheap flammable lingerie (pictured above) would turn him off so that you could finally get a nice nights sleep free of […]

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: The Coke Purse

Well, well, well.  So we meet again.  If my math is correct it’s been nearly 14 decades since there was even a mention of Harriet Carter around here at the IBBB offices.  Well, times-they-are-a-changin’ because, uh, I’m posting one.  Was that not clear?  For those of you new to the site, check out the first […]

“Pajama Jeans” Because You’re Not Getting Hired in an Actual Office Anyway!

Who’s going to fix the economy and add jobs to your city?  Who cares!  Introducing “Pajama Jeans” for when you’re just about ready to call it quits in life (pre-dirt nap).  Pajama Jeans are a mix of pajamas and wait for it….wait for it…wait for it…jeans or “dungarees” for those of you still using dial-up […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Wipe Your Feet on the Whoremat Please!

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday to you and yours. Some people have been emailing me and asking questions like, “But IBBB, why has Harriet Carter Wednesday sometimes moved to Thursday?” I answer in love and light by saying, “I ask the questions around here. Now cut the crap before I call the cops.” This week, Harriet […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Sometimes Thursday is Wednesday Too

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday. Even though HCW only comes but once a week I feel like I’m trash-bag-status enough for every day to be HCW. In fact, I’m currently writing congress to make this a national holiday. I’m not quite sure what any of this means, but what I do know is that this week […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Leave it to Other People to Beat the Bag Out of Your Kid

Join Me on Facebook! Yeah it’s Harriet Carter Wednesday, what’s it to you?  I’ve received a ton of emails over the past few months wondering where Harriet has been.  I typically answered with, “None of your business.  Do I come to your house and ask your mother where her looks went?”  Obviously that is the […]

Harriet Carter Wednesday: Well, well, well. Look What the White Trash Cat Dragged In.

Join Me on Facebook, My Own White-Trash Catalog! Uh, Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday?  Uh, where have you been?  I’ve been here the whole time.  Ok fine, you caught me.  I’ve taken a little break from the wondrous world of “House of Carter” because of The Hills recaps.  Trust me, it was like “Sophie’s Choice” for […]

Harriet Carter Day: Fun with Food!

Happy Harriet Carter Day.  I say “day” because this week Harriet graces us with her “presents” on Thursday instead of Wednesday.  Hey oh!  You can blame shows like The Hills and The City for taking up a majority of my time.  Thanks Heidi.  Anyway, this week Harriet has fun with delivery and helps you save […]