Even though I made a deal with Santa Christ and Jesus Claus (they’re two different people) that I would no longer age I have turned another year older. Today in fact. Now don’t get me wrong, I am appreciative that my birthday does fall on the same day that Jersey Shore is on. I mean, I’m not an animal. I have my priorities in life.
Not only do I turn a year older, but this here sh*t-bag blog has also recently had a birthday too. IBBB has turned 4. Is that insane? No really, it is. I’ve been spewing out nonsense for 4 years and, well, that’s sad and pathetic and sad. It’s also pathetic. Did I mention sad? Sad.
So, as I prepare my “surprised face” when I walk into my surprise party at the Brownstone hosted by Tre, Barney Rubble, Harriet Carter, Bindi Irwin, Lindsay No Pants, Donna Martin (getting thrown down the stairs by Ray Pruit, of course), LC’s mustache, Snooki, Kim G, Milaini (yelling Fabulous!), Butch, Amber and Gary (Roseanne and Dan), Knockers del Toro, Joel McHale, Enzo, Erin Jo, Olivia, Joe Zee Messina, Kelly Cutrone, and the lady who yelled about chicken tetrazzini on Maury Povich, I will be taking the day off.
As my gift to you, please enjoy the original theme song from “Gimme a Break” sung by Nell Carter. Spoiler Alert: When I blow out my birthday candles my wish is that Nell Carter would, of course, come back to life and sing this to me.