Britney & Mel: When Crazy Met Drunky

Here’s a story, of a girl named Britney, Who was bringing up two very lovely girls (her boobs) She used to have hair of gold, like Madonna, And even a few rolls. Here’s a story, of a man named Drunky, Who was busy with anti-semitisim of his own, He was drunk and pulled over and […]

Britney Spears Break the Ice Video

Break the Ice Britney is appealing to the kids with this cartoon-a-palooza video of her latest song Break the Ice. I have a question. May I? Thanks. Uh, how many different voices does Britney technically have? I’m pretty sure this one is a mix of LaToya Jackson, the first member that was kicked out of […]

Cartoon Britney = Cartoon Crotch Rot?

Who wants to see cartoon Britney on a cartoon treadmill? If you’re like the tens of others who have wanted to see this you may just be in luck. Britney’s next “song,” Break the Ice, is rumored to be totally animated. I’m psyched. Oh, and by “psyched” I mean I’m slightly in a coma. The […]

Know How Britney is Worth $125,000,000? Yeah, Well She Gets to Spend .0012% of That Each Week. Score!

So you know how Britney has earned and is worth an estimated $125,000,000? Yeah, well she basically has been put on an allowance and can spend .0012% of that per week. Ch-ching! According to those sick sons-a-bitches over at TMZ.com a judge has ruled that Daddy Honky Tonk Spears is allowed to give Britney a […]

Britney Gets Banged, HARD

Whoever said that God doesn’t follow the life of Britney Spears and doesn’t have a great sense of humor is going to burn in the fiery pits of hell with those of you who throw straw wrappers out the car window. Everyone is trying to help Britney now…her mom, her dad, her legal team, but […]

Welcome Back Britney’s Gentlemen Greeter

Welcome back, Britney’s Gentlemen Greeter! We missed you! Welcome back, Your gentlemen greeter was your ticket out. Welcome back, To that same old stinky place that we all laughed about. Well the nicknames have all changed since you hung it out, But those images have remained and they’re turned around. Who’d have thought it’d lead […]

Hide the Moonshine and Ripped Fishnets, Britney Can See Her Kids Again Y’all!

The noise you hear is Britney celebrating with 2 shotguns in the air because “the law” has decided that Britney can have visitation with her two kids, “What’s His Face” and “The Other One.” There are a few rules that Britney had to follow though. Britney has to have her dad Jamie (not to be […]

Happy V-Day to Britney’s New Weave

New day, new hair. Britney headed to her dance studio so she could practice some of her fly dance moves that typically consist of her raising both arms in the air and resting them on her head. She took her dog (child replacement) and tried to get into the studio unnoticed, but not before about […]

Britney Teaches Kids to Dance, Whilst Dressed Like Street Walking Trailer Whore.

Photos were taken of Britney Spears entering and exiting the Millennium Dance Studio last night where it is reported that she had given free dance lessons to little kids, aged 4-9, in the LA area. According to a report from credible OK! Magazine Britney arrived at the studio at 6pm and met each of the […]

Britney Goes to the Crazy Hospital

Yeeeeee haw! Even more Britney news! Seriously this is turing into the “boy who cried wolf” for me. It’s like take a dirt nap or don’t. I’m tired of reading, hearing, seeing, and learning about Britney’s crazy antics. But, since I am a reporter (I’m not) I will recap the crap out of what, allegedly, […]

Britney Spears: That ‘Drug Store Lady’

There really isn’t much more you can say about Britney. It’s all been said. Literally. Britney was out and about the other night, sporting her e-coli crusted pink wig and making yet another trip to the drug store. In this case, Rite Aide. Besides the normal crazy that I typically think about Britney, after looking […]

Brit Cam: The Return

Alright alright! So Britney swung by court yesterday for her visitation hearing and I believe she made it into the building, but never into the actual court. Oh, and who cares. I was psyched because that means that the crazy cats of TMZ.com had their cameras streaming a live feed from outside the courtroom. Now, […]

Breaking News: Britney Still Alive

With all this talk of the death of Heath Ledger, in my opinion, no one is more psyched to have dodged the death bullet train quite like Britney Spears. Therefore I think that each day somebody should be breaking news that Britney is still alive. Maybe I’ll do it. Scratch that, that’s too much of […]

Britney Spears: A Braless Wonder

Britney actually made it to her deposition yesterday (too bad for her kids). I believe the word “deposition” is Latin for “No Bra Needed.” I mean it is just court, so why not let your knockers swing in the wind and show everyone what you’re really about. It’s good to see Britney trying to cut […]

The Britney Live Cam

Ahhh I am such a loser! Although, TMZ may trump me for “loserdom.” I stopped by the trusty TMZ.com website yesterday and noticed that they had some live cameras set up to capture Britney driving into court. “This is retarded” I thought and then I got sucked in. Camera 1 showed the paparazzi waiting to […]

Britney’s Priest Sells-Out!

I’ve always assumed most priests to be diddlers with rotten yellow teeth, but apparently some can even sell-out as well and, well, I admire that (minus the diddle-factor). 1-Iced-Mocha-Latte-Away-From-a-Dirt-Nap Spears left court, as you know, yesterday without ever making it inside. She then hauled ass to church that’s actually called, “The Little Brown Church” in […]

Dear Britney’s Dogs,

Dear Britney’s Dogs, Ay ay ay. Where do I even begin. First off, arrf and woooof! Similar to your owners 2 kids, “What’s His Face” and “The Other One” I don’t really know which of you is which. Hell, one of you could be a cat as we know Britney does like pussy (audience applause). […]

Britney’s Tires and Boobs Go Flat

Hey sexy and not crazy at all! How are you? After a brief mental breakdown, Britney was back in action and driving her car like an Iraqi missile when, uh-oh, she went bust. Her tire busted and, clearly, her bust were busted too. X17Online.com was up Britney’s ass and following her up Sunset Blvd while […]

Dear Britney’s Stretcher,

Dear Britney’s Stretcher, How are YOU? Wow. Huh? I know, right? It must have been a really rough night for you. I mean, first off, you had to be out late which must be tough on a week night. Second, you were probably just recently cleaned and then guess whose fat ass gets plopped on […]

Britney Spears: Hostage Situation, Custody Battle, Hospitalization, Suicide Watch, and More! Somewhere Lindsay Lohan is Relieved!

Now I may not be a lawyer, but I have a small feeling that this can’t be too good for Britney and the custody case. So apparently Britney went all 6’s and 7’s last night, go figure. Here’s a bit of a timeline on what happened. Some may be real, some make not be real. […]