Give Britney Her Kids Back, Y’all!

Time to oil the screen door on the trailer because August is going to be a big month for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Britney and KFed had gone into mediation recently over custody issues with their two kids, “What’s His Face” and “The Other One,” but they couldn’t really agree on anything (except the […]

Britney, Dressed Like Camp Counselor, Gets Granted Overnights With Kids “What’s His Face” and ‘The Other One.”

Beverly Hills what a thrill, Beverly Hills! It’s cookie time, it’s cookie time! Britney Spears, dressed like a camp counselor, was allegedly granted overnight visits with her two kids, “What’s His Face” and “The Other One” while in court with K Fed yesterday. Is Britney allowed overnights with herself yet? I thought she was being […]

Britney Looks Cured to Me!

Britney Spears made her way back from Ass-Backwardsville USA to glorious LAX and I think she looks cured! The paparazzi, of course, were photo-rapping her and one “fauxtographer” in the background is even using his/her shoes to help balance the camera. Now that’s professionalism and dedication all wrapped up into one! Meanwhile, why Britney got […]

Care to Buy Britney’s House?

According to TMZ.com, a judge in the Britney Spears conservatorship case has recently approved Britney’s request to sell her house. I am in the process of buying a plane ticket to fly to Malibu and attend the open house. I’m just going to stand in front of the house yelling “$1 dollar, Bob!” in hopes […]

Britney in the Middle of a Smirk Sandwich

Remember from those old Highlight’s Magazines where you would have to look at a picture and figure out all the things that weren’t correct. For example, there’s a toaster in the tree or the dog has an ice cream cone on his back instead of a tail? Yeah, well looking at Britney Spears pictures is […]

Hey Dasani, You Sure About This?

I’m not one to throw a stone, although I am, but Britney was working out a Bally’s Total Fitness in Studio City again yesterday and, uh…um….er….is she losing any weight at all? I mean, you figured she’d look a little slimmer, but not so much with Britney. Maybe this is because she walks on the […]

Britney’s Gut Costa Rican Vacation Wrap Up Palooza 2008!

I used to go to grade school with a girl from Costa Rica. Her name was Yessina. I wonder if Britney saw her whilst she and her gut were vacationing? Anygut, if you missed any of the Freakin’ Costa Rican minute by minute recap that all the other blogs were running then you’ve come to […]

Britney’s Car Accident is Boring

Beep beep, y’all! I’s comin’ at ya with my ride! Britney got into a little fender bender while driving on Sunset Boulevard in LA yesterday. Luckily she was not injured and, in fact, kept on a creepy smile the whole time (see photo above). She looks like one of those puppet things that sits on […]

Britney’s Mother’s Day! Yee Haw!

Pin down your hair stringy hair extensions because Britney spent part of her Mother’s Day with her own mom as they went out to eat at SUR in Hollywood yesterday. It’s great to see that Lynne Spears liked her dinner so much that she even brought home a doggie bag. Classy! Meanwhile, Jamie Lynn Spears […]

Britney Does More of That Fancy Acting

Britney Spears, as you know, is going to be on another crapisode of How I Met Your Mother. I’m sure that the rest of the cast is psyched that it took the likes of Britney Spears to really bring this show to a national level. I’m pretty sure before Britney guest starred in that one […]

Brit Cam: Fauxlebrity Edition!

Let’s face it, when TMZ.com places their cameras outside of the Britney court house it’s usually pretty boring to watch. However, this time around I played “Let’s Spot the Fauxlebrity Who’s Outside the Court!” What a real gem this is and makes me feel like my life is pointless all at the same time. So, […]

Britney Spears Back to Kentwood. Awkward

Breathe easy LA, because Britney has made a pit stop in Kentwood, Louisiana for her sissy’s baby shower. Yeeee haw! The whole family got together and sat out on the “porch” which looks like it’s about 15 times the size of my apartment. Damn wealth. Damn it all to hell. I’m assuming the paparazzi are […]

Britney Spears to Go Back to That Show Where No One Wants Her Back

Rumor has it that Britney Spears will be returning to the set of How I Met Your Mother to film one more episode since her first appearance went so well, had the ratings sky-rocket, and inform the youth of America that CBS actually does exist. People’s drunken source has said, “The show is ecstatic and […]

I Wanna See Britney’s Diary Videos!

I’m hoping my vigorous letter writing campaign to Santa is finally going to pay off! ShowBizSpy is claiming that Britney Spears has some video diaries that she’s planning on releasing that will show all of her crazy times over the past 6-months. Wait, are they sure she didn’t say “video diarrhea?” Sometimes when she switches […]

Britney Hijacks Son, Heads to Starbucks

Beep beep here comes the Britney Mobile! Britney was with her son, either “What’s His Face” or “The Other One,” and made sure that she did not get into his car without her Starbucks. I actually assume she forced her son to head up the Pacific Coast Highway and stop at the first Starbucks that […]

Britney Down to 3 Stalkers?

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m dumping it! Shouldn’t you check to see if you have to go to the bathroom before you leave the house? And if you find yourself in an emergency situation and you’re famous, wouldn’t you stop at a hotel or something? They always have restrooms in the lobby. Just a friendly tip, Britney, just […]

Britney to Sing for $100 Million?

Rumors are swirling (meaning the rumors are out there in a circular motion I assume) that Britney is getting ready for the biggest comeback tour in the history of comeback tours on the planet earth (there are bigger comeback tours on Saturn, Pluto and, of course, Uranus). Drunken random sources are saying that Britney is […]

Britney’s Ass Gets a Power Washing

There’s nothing I like better than a little potty humor, as I am 12. Anyway, there are reports that Britney Spears has been getting her “Stink House” or “Poop Shed” cleaned out regularly. I’m talking about her ass. That was clear, right? Anyway, if you’ve been wondering about the insides of Britney’s bum as I […]

Britney Thought and Analysis of the Week!

I typically don’t like to watch scripted television, which is why I stick to 100% reality shows like “The Hills.” Anyway, I Tivo’d, tuned-in, fast-forwarded, and checked out Britney Spears on How I Met Your Mother. I was assuming there would be multiple shots of Britney flashing her “gentlemen greeter” but there weren’t. I was […]

Britney on “How I Met Your Mother”

Did you know that How I Met Your Mother was still on the air? If so, you are one step ahead of me as I didn’t even know there was a show called How I Met Your Mother. Apparently, Britney is still alive too so it made perfect sense to combine these two powerful forces […]