The Olsen Twins Are the Walking Dead

The Olsen Sluts are literally the walking dead. And how comes they can never stand up straight? They always are hunched over and look like they’re malnourished. Oh yeah, and homeless. Mary-Michelle-Kate-Ashley-Tanner-Olsen was out and about at Paris Fashion week (The Valli Party) and clearly were going trick-or-treating directly after the party. By the way, […]

Who Wants To See Some Rich Olsen Hole?

Wait, is this what “the kids” are doing these days? Ripping holes in their clothes? Is $2 dollar crack-whore really “in” these days? Damn, Whitney Houston was way ahead of her time. I actually miss the old cracked out Whitney. Ugh. Oh well, enough about me. Mary-Michelle-Kate-Ashley-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen (I have no idea which Olsen this is) […]

Ashley Olsen Has OCD in Mexico

Ashley Olsen (of the famed, “Olsen Sluts”) was sunning her bony little body while enjoying some downtime and vacationing in Mexico. Now, there is a chance that Ashley was enjoying some “adult beverages” because besides the Corona next to her she is actually smiling….yes, smiling. I’m glad she is enjoying some downtime. It must be […]

The Olsen Sluts Dress Like the Elderly

Remember that one episode of Full House when little Michelle Tanner put on her grandmothers shoes, pearls, and hat? Yeah, well it wasn’t cute then and it isn’t cute now. I am officially going on the record saying that I don’t find the Olsen Sluts attractive at all. Ok, well that’s a stretch. The one […]

Mary Kate Olsen: Too Weak to Stand

Poor Mary Kate Olsen. And I mean “poor” in every sense of the word. Not only does she look she look “poor” as in homeless, but she also has some poor posture. See what happens when you don’t eat meat….or any morsel of food for that matter? At what point to do you look in […]

Ashley Olsen Borrows From Ant Becky

Uncle Jesse is going to be mad pissed when he finds out that his little “munchkin” took off with Ant Becky’s mink stole and whore boots! Just to top things off she even dyed her hair dark brown to match her twin on the show. Remember that god-awful episode when Michelle Tanner had a twin, […]