Dudes Who’ve Been on Celebrity Apprentice are the New “Curse of the Women Who Won an Oscar”

First Jesse James, then Brett Michaels, and now Tito Ortiz.  It hasn’t been the best few months for guys who have appeared on Celebrity Apprentice.  TMZ, the trash barrel reporters, are telling the story that Tito Ortiz has been arrested and posted $50,000 bail yesterday morning for allegedly beating part of the bag out of […]

One More Arrest and Michael Lohan Gets His 11th Arrest for Free!

The sky is blue.  Bindi Irwin is a big B.  Birds fly south for the winter.  Homeless women on the street are probably just Tyra Banks in disguise doing a social experiment.  And Michael Lohan got arrested again.  Again.  Again, again, again.  Again.  The classiest of all the Lohan’s, Michael was arrested yesterday after violating […]

Gary Coleman Arrested Yet Again. Yawn.

If Arnold serves time in prison, who will get temporary custody of his goldfish Abraham?  Probably not Dudley as he’ll be busy getting diddled by some weirdo watching dirty cartoons.  Anybain, Gary Coleman was arrested in Utah yesterday and charged with domestic assault.  I swear to God if he put one finger on either Mrs. […]

Mess With Charlie Sheen and He'll Totally Break Your Glasses

I didn’t even want to touch the whole Charlie Sheen/Brooke Mueller hoopla as white-trash with money always seems to irk me.  However I did have to lift my personal ban once I read on TMZ how, according to an affidavit, Charlie Sheen took Brooke Mueller’s eyeglasses and then broke them in front of her.  Geesh, […]

Stephanie Pratt Arrested for DUI. My Money Was on Holly Montag.

Wow.  They will stop at nothing to promote the upcoming crapisode of The Hills!  At least they’re sticking with the theme: Drunken Undeserving Skankasauras’.  According the my friends at TMZ, Stephanie Pratt was arrested in the early morning hours and charged with DUI in happy Hollywood, CA.  I hope Heidi is praying for her.  According […]

Heather Locklear Arrested

Heather Locklear, according to People Magazine, has been arrested last night and held in Santa Barbara County jail. As of today she has been released from the slammer-lama-ding-dong and, at this point, no one is talking about why she was arrested. Therefore, I will make the following guesses until the real reason comes out: Massive […]

Shia’s Truck is the Real Crime

By know you’ve heard of the Shia LaBeouf DUI accident from the other night. I say you heard about it before because it happened over the weekend while I was taking multiple naps and never blogged about it. Once I finally awoke from my sleep coma I saw pictures of Shia’s truck which is all […]

LOL! Arrests Are Funny! OMG! LOL!

Believe it or not but I’ve yet to be arrested, but if/when that happens I want to make sure I issue a statement that makes it seem like this whole situation was an LOL event! Star of CSI, Gary Dourdan, was arrested last week for alleged drug possession after the 5-0 found him asleep in […]

Check Out My Left Hook While My DJ Revolves It

Uh oh! Someone’s gonna have to explain their new black eye to the girls in work today! Vanilla Ice’s wife must have burnt the roast because police were called to the house of Vanilla Ice and he was arrested after he allegedly pushed her. Apparently this is something that you aren’t allowed to do even […]

Mischa Barton Arrested for DUI. Nice!

Lindsay who? Fine, so I’m reporting this about 12 hours after everyone else but it’s still worth mentioning that Mischa Barton, star of ???, has been arrested for driving under the influence, possession of a narcotics (narc alert!), driving with a suspended license, and for being a complete bore (ok I made that last one […]

Debra Lafave Arrested, Again

Skanky McSkankface, Debra Lafave, was arrested again! You may remember Debra Lafave for being charged with having “the sex” with an underage student a year or so ago. Well she plead guilty to lewd behavior with a teenage boy and was on probation and told not to have contact with anyone under the age of […]

Shia LaBeouf Arrested

Move over Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Nicole, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Kid Rock, Da Brat, Mel Gibson, Nick Nolte, OJ Simpson (2007), and countless others because there’s fresh prison meet on the block. Shia LaBeouf was arrested on Sunday morning for allegedly being intoxicated and not wanting to leave a Walgreens in Chicago because, apparently, that’s […]

OJ Simpson Arrested in Vegas, Baby!

I think that “horribly tragic and not funny at all” t-shirt that I once got that said, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” was incorrect. I seriously hate it when my t-shirts lie to me. It’s very disrespectful. Anyway, OJ Simpson was just arrested in Las Vegas by Las Vegas police (go figure) for […]

Lindsay Blames “The Black Kid”

Car chases. Booze. Fire-crotch. Racism. While it sounds like a summer blockbuster, it is allegedly what took place just minutes before and during the Lindsay No Pants arrest. Ok, so this is a long story and, frankly, I don’t feel like typing it all out so I will quickly recap and then you can check […]

Lindsay Lohan Arrested Again, Again, Again. Back to Jail for DUI and Coke!

Just when I thought that Lindsay could sneak a drink since Britney was being all crazy, it now appears that Lindsay No Pants was arrested AGAIN early this morning in Santa Monica for drunk driving. What in the hell happened to her “Alcohol Ankle Braclet?” Maybe she bought it from The Harriet Carter Catalog? Rumors […]

Lindsay Lohan Arrested. No Big Deal

Following in her father’s footsteps, Lindsay Lohan recently checked out of rehab and then checked herself into the Beverly Hill police department in order to be officially arrested for her May 2007 DUI. Poor little Lindsay had to stay there for about 1 hour, but was finally release when she coughed up $30,000. You can […]

Lindsay Gets DUI, Parties it Up!

So first I need to say that every time I take a few days off there seems to be some type of celebrity scandal. I was away when Anna Nicole took her dirt nap, I was away when Paris was sentenced to p-to-the-prison, and I had some friends in town for Memorial Day Weekend when […]

Scott Stapp, Singer from Creed, Beats His Wife Because He Loves Her…and Dinner Was Late?

Remember the group Creed? Remember the lead singer of the group Creed? Remember how every song Creed sang sounded the same? Remember how hitting women was illegal? Yeah, well lead singer of the group Creed, Scott Stapp, was arrested yesterday for allegedly assaulting his wife, former Miss New York Jaclyn Nesheiwat. Stapp was charged with […]

Bud Bundy Arrested

Al is going to be pissed! Bud Bundy (also known as David Fostino) was allegedly arrested in New Smyrna Beach police for marijuana possession and disorderly intoxication, according to The National Enquirer. Is there such thing as “orderly” intoxication because if so I don’t know about it. I think this will be great for Bud’s […]

Ty Pennington: Move That Buzz!!

The loud and retarded host of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Ty Pennington, was arrested the other day for driving while under the influence of alcohol. I believe the police reported stated he had drank about 10 Zima’s. Ok, so I made that part up, but it made for a funnier story. Anyway, Ty is very […]