Tip Back Your Moonshine, KFed Gets to Keep the Kids Y’all!

OK Magazine is doing all their fancy reporting and claiming that Britney has finally given up her hopes and dreams of getting full custody of her kids, “What’s His Face” and “The Other One.” Here’s what KFed’s attorney, Mark Kaplan, had to say:

“At about 8 p.m. PT, a final settlement in the Kevin Federline-Britney Spears custody case was signed. All parties have agreed to the following: Kevin will retain sole legal and physical custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James. Britney will continue to have visitation rights which may increase over time. The agreement will be presented to the court in the morning for approval by the commissioner.”

Yowza. They, like, never not give full custody to the mother unless she’s a complete crackhead. Just saying. At least Britney can focus on getting herself healthy again and by “getting herself healthy again” I really mean “focus on keeping her vaginastein in her pants.” She should just whip herself up a new batch of babies y’all! It worked for Jamie Lynn. If she’s having a difficult time finding a partner to impregnate her she can always go to a public bathroom and sit her bare ass on the seat. She’s likely to get pregnant then. At least that’s what my 8th grade nun told the girls in my class right before recess one day. Must be true!


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