“So when I hear about the Robbies and the Britneys going to into rehab, I think, ‘I’ll tell you what rehab is. Go to where I just went, where people are really suffering and then you’ll see just how good your life is.’ I mean, Britney is not working in a coal mine, is she? You are whisked to the studio in a very large limo, you are flown around in private jet, everyone will agree with you and physically making an album is a doddle.”
Paula and Randy couldn’t be reached for comment, but I’d assume it would go something like this:
Randy: “Dog, she’s a dog, dog. I’d tell Britney to get a dog. I mean, I’m sure everyone would agree that making an album is like owning a dog. Thanks for looking out.”
Paula: “Britney, I think you look beautiful tonight with your tattoos and shaved head. You really made it your own sweetie…..” (there would have been more of a quote, but I then assumed that Paula Abdul smelled burnt toast and then fell out of her chair).