Dear Britney’s Lips,
Hey you! Please let me be the first to say welcome to the crazy world of Britney! You’re not even 1-week old yet, but have already received so much attention. I applaud you, Britney’s new lips. I applaud you. Many people are already knocking you as they think it’s just Britney being all crazy again. Crazy as a fox, I say! I mean, if your owner wants to get her kids back, she sure as hell is going to have to kiss some major ass and her old lips just wouldn’t cut it. Therefore, in order to better kiss the judge’s ass, she has purchased you. Brilliant! Please note, however, that your owner doesn’t always seem so clean. And, God only knows what Britney has had her lips on. That’s where things can get a little tricky for you. It’s not your fault, you were born into this crazy Britney world. If you’re ever lonely you can always make make friends with Britney’s crotch. I mean, if just kinda makes sense I think. Mathematically and scientifically it makes sense. Best wishes with getting the kids back and don’t forget to apply plenty of Chapstick. You’ll need it.
Luke Warm Regards,