Can You Hear Me Now? No? How ‘Bout Now? No? Ok, Give Me Your Kids. Good.

It is almost impossible to keep up with what in the Christ (sign of the cross) Britney Spears is up to on an hourly basis. I mean, I can’t hunt for the Olsen Sluts all day, ponder the lives of Heidi and Steve Sanders, work a full time job AND keep tabs on Britney. She gets her kids, she loses her kids, she gets to have a sleepover, she loses her kids, she flashes her “gentlemen greeter,” she crashes her car, she wears a bird hat, she loses her kids, she says “y’all,” she gets a coffee, she loses her kids, she loses her sister, she loses her kids. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anyway, it appears that Britney lost temporary custody of her kids again because she didn’t take her court-appointed drug tests. Apparently Britney is claiming she never received the calls because she doesn’t have good cell phone reception in Malibu. Seriously, why not just put the kids up for adoption at this point. Hell, give ’em to Ellen and she’ll find a nice home for them. Every other blog keeps saying that Britney needs help and needs to go to rehab, etc. No way! Those two little brats are holding her back. Every time she tries to go out and do her charity work (i.e flashing her newly sculpted “gentlemen greeter” to the paparazzi) she always had to go home early (i.e 6 AM) because those two brats needed to be fed and/or loved. Britney doesn’t need help. She needs more time to party. Starbucks coffees are my kids now y’all!

Britney can play “court games” again on October 26th. If Britney can somehow show up to court trashed out of her mind I will officially retire this blog. Fingers crossed.