Britney’s Priest Sells-Out!

I’ve always assumed most priests to be diddlers with rotten yellow teeth, but apparently some can even sell-out as well and, well, I admire that (minus the diddle-factor). 1-Iced-Mocha-Latte-Away-From-a-Dirt-Nap Spears left court, as you know, yesterday without ever making it inside. She then hauled ass to church that’s actually called, “The Little Brown Church” in San Fernando Valley. It’s ironic that it’s called The Little Brown Church as Britney, I’m assuming, has little brown skid marks in her underpants. Hmm fitting. Not the underpants, the name. Anyway back to the priest who sells out.

Father Bill Thomas, assistant pastor, exclusively told US Magazine that “Britney was only in here for a few minutes. Our church is open 24 hours a day, so I don’t know if she’s ever been here before. She did not get married in here. We welcome anyone, including Britney, into our church at any time.”

Ok, let’s dissect this, no? First off, what priest is talking to US Magazine? The Diddler Times, perhaps, but US Magazine? Next up, he’s only the assistant pastor? How many kids do you need to enter into the fondle olympics to become the head pastor? Finally, nice backhanded compliment by saying, “We welcome anyone, including Britney…” Why not just say, “We allow whores, murders, pedophiles, prostitutes, and drug dealers into our church. Oh, and Britney too.”
Later, a note was found in the church prayer box that said, “Dear God, please give Britney her kids back.” At this time it is not known who wrote it, but let me just say kudos to the complete dirt bag who would look inside a secret prayer box….in a church….the house of the Lord. You may officially burn in hell now. Oh, and as a sidenote, why does it look like Hansel and Gretel should be living in that little brown church?

Britney’s Priest Sells-Out!

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