Britney Spears Opens the VMAs and Her Life to Us. I’m Live Blogging Britney.

Sure it’s a big deal that Britney is opening the MTV Video Music Awards, but they’re making it seem like Jesus is coming back to earth to say hi and save us all.

Britney enters the stage and receives a standing ovation. She looks good, although she had the microphone directly in front of her face. You totally know Christina Aguilera was laughing her new boobs off back stage.

I will now post anything that Britney does, as let’s face it, it’s the only reason why people are watching. Oh, and if you thought I was a loser before, have no doubt…

  • Britney one best female…something. She thanked God first. Honestly, I can’t even make fun of her. No fun. She also thanked her family and her two boys who inspire her every day. She then dedicated the award to her fans. She is like a programmed robot now. You know they told her to say as little as possible. Eh, she looks hot and, at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters in this world.
  • Sidenote, why the hell is Demi Moore there?
  • Who the hell are these Jonas Brothers? And where the hell did all those kids come running from? They’re gonna get pregnant like that. Sluts.
  • So this kinda sucks. How many people are at the VMAs? Seems like there’s about 100 people there. What ever happened to the good old days of an award show without all this other crap? Oh God I’m 250 yrs old.
  • Oh come on. Lindsay Lohan is there and living up to her lesbian stereotype by wearing some sort of faux-tuxedo. We get it Lindsay. We get it. You’re in a pants suit.
  • Oh and the award Lindsay handed out was to the Pussycat Dolls. Um, the “Pussy”cat Dolls. We get it Lindsay. We read you loud and clear. Loud and freckly clear.
  • This sucks. Live blogging is over. I mean, the show is still going on, but I can’t commit to this anymore.

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