Britney Spears: Hostage Situation, Custody Battle, Hospitalization, Suicide Watch, and More! Somewhere Lindsay Lohan is Relieved!

Now I may not be a lawyer, but I have a small feeling that this can’t be too good for Britney and the custody case. So apparently Britney went all 6’s and 7’s last night, go figure. Here’s a bit of a timeline on what happened. Some may be real, some make not be real. Regardless I believe this is technically what a shitstorm is all about. So walk with me down memory lane of last nights events:
  • Police were called to Britney’s house for an apparent custody dispute.
  • KFed’s bodyguards went to pick up the two kids, “What’s His Face” and “The Other One” over at Britney’s and she refused to turn them over.
  • This causes 3 additional cop cars, helicopters, a fire engine and ambulance to stop on by Spears’ hee-haw mansion.
  • Britney makes more good decisions and refuses to let anyone in her casa de crazy. Police then forced themselves in.
  • While inside, police discovered that Britney was “under the influence of an unknown substance.”
  • Paramedics popped into her house too just to say hi and see how she was and, in turn, took Britney out on a stretcher. Hot.
  • Another ambulance then came to transport Jayden James (I think that’s “What’s His Face”) to the hospital too. Yay! A free ride on the toy ambulance!
  • Possible Rumor: While at the hospital, it’s been reported that Britney was screaming that she would rather die than “let him have my babies.” Britney continued to scream that she wanted to die and even God rolled his eyes (I’m assuming).
  • Britney’s dad, Jamie Spears, stopped on by Cedars-Sinai for a visit. Yee-haw, daddy’s here!
  • It was reported that Britney was declared a “5150” which means that she is a danger to herself and others and, therefore, can be taken against her will. I’m declaring Dina Lohan a 5150 too.
  • OK! Magazine is reporting that Britney will be kept under observation for 24 hours and then will be booked for offenses that haven’t been made public yet.

What a luke-warm mess. This isn’t anything that I’m shocked about and I think it’s even more sad that I feel like this won’t be the craziest thing that Britney will do. Let’s look at it this way, she can’t surprise us by missing any more court dates. She can’t visit Starbucks an obscene amount of times and surprise us. She doesn’t have much left to shave (I’m assuming). She’s already done rehab a few times. All that we have left is Britney taking a dirt-nap and/or Britney becoming a nun. That’s about it.

Every website under the sun is reporting on this so there is no way to keep up, however if anything really interesting happens I’ll fill you in.

Sources!

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