Britney Scheduled to Be Killed

Oh those zany and wacky terrorists are at it again! This time around, the Muslim terrorists are allegedly completely pissed off at Britney Spears, as they should be. These cute little terrorists want to convert Britney Spears to Islam and warned that if Britney resisted then her head would be cut off. Ouch!

Muhammad Abdel-Al (not to be confused with Paula Abdul – she’s a different terrorist), has said, “If I meet these whores I will have the honor – I repeat, I will have the honor – to be the first one to cut the heads off of Madonna and Britney Spears if they keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam. If these two prostitutes keep doing what they’re doing we of course will punish them…a prostitute woman must be stoned or must be eighty times hit with a belt.”

Holy Durka Durka! Where do I even begin? I mean, this guy is brilliant and, personally, I feel should get his own show. He reminds me of Baghdad Bob. Look, I didn’t like Britney’s VMA performance either, but she doesn’t deserve her head cut off. And, you can’t really punish her by getting her stoned because, well, she typically seems stoned half the day anyway. Hit 80 times with a belt? Please. Don’t tempt her with a good time! You call her a prostitute? Now is this based on fact? Because if it is I would consider pooling some money together in order to test drive this whore, er, “prostitute” as you say.

My advice to Britney? Run. Or, walk quickly…but not around a pool. That’s dangerous and you could really hurt yourself.

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Britney Scheduled to Be Killed

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