Hey remember how I made fun of Britney for the past 2 years? Yeah, well I didn’t mean it and you just misinterpreted my jokes. Britney is hot again and that changes everything. Not only am I back on the bandwagon, but I’m applying for the conductor position.
Britney’s new video, Womanizer, debuted on 20/20 last night, because that makes sense, and I have to admit that while the song makes my ears twitch and then spit out blood and wax, the video is actually good….entertaining even. I mean, seeing Britney naked and greased up like a pig on a rotisserie is enough to hold my attention before falling off my chair.
Britney plays many different personalities in this video (the old me would have made an off color joke), but when she wasn’t naked in the sauna I couldn’t figure out why in the hell she looked so different to me. I pride myself on being able to identify Britney even when she isn’t shaved bald and grasping a green umbrella, but I couldn’t put my finger on it (giggity). Then it hit me with the same force that Ike hit Tina with. Britney stole the Olsen Sluts eyebrows!
Is it possible to grow out your eyebrows? If so, I’m pretty sure Britney did that. It makes her face look different, almost Neanderthal like. Eh, it works for her. You wanna know why boys and girls? Because at the end of the day Britney is thin again and that makes her a better person, a better singer, a better dancer, prettier, hotter, and a better citizen.
My favorite part of the video is when Britney pulls a “Reverse Blonsky” and kicks that dude in the crotch. It’s not normal that as soon as I see that I immediately think, “Britney totally just Reversed Blonsky’d that guy!”
What did you trash bags think of the video?