Britney For the Record. Thanks For Making Me Feel Like Such a Jerk

So you can all pretend that you didn’t watch “Britney: For the Record” last night, but I know the truth. I know you did. I also know you watched it again directly after it aired the first time. I’m like Visa. I’m everywhere.
Let me just say that after the first scene of Britney’s dad making her daughter breakfast and him saying, “I’m making my baby cheese grits” I was thanking Jesus Claus that I remembered this “documentary” was on. I was sure it would be filled with “y’alls” and other white-trash paraphernalia. Moments later I found myself asking Jesus Claus for forgiveness as I immediately began feeling bad for all the mean things I wrote about Britney over the past 2.5 years. I’m pretty sure my blackened heart turned a light red after watching this.
I am, however, a little confused on what the messaging of this documentary was supposed to be. I mean, I can’t be the only one who’s confused about this. And why was Britney always looking slightly upward and to the left every time she was asked a question? Anyway, so is the messaging supposed to be that Britney has come back stronger than ever and wants to really sing and dance again? Or is the message supposed to be that Britney is basically in a depression and is “sad” because her dad controls her money, Larry Rudolph controls her career, and she is a prisoner in LA because her husband lives there and the court won’t let her have her children and move? I’m sorta thinking it’s the later because she kinda said all of those things. Some of those things were said whilst crying.
In conclusion, I actually felt bad for Britney. Not in a way where I pity her because thinking about her $125 million took the “pity card” away. In fact, I probably felt bad because of the dramatically sad music they played in the background and all those shots of her looking sadly out the window.
I would like to apply for a job of just traveling around with Britney and making jokes all day long just to make her laugh. Is there an application for that? Oh, and she really is looking good again so perhaps I can also do a little snooky-poo with her. Eh, I’ll be sure to ask about that during the interview process.
What did you guys think about Britney: For the Record? Did you all feel as horrible as me for making fun of her all these years? Do all bloggers go to heaven?

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