Sure Jack Palance died, but I have some truly sad news to break. Eva Longoria is fighting back rumors that she is to play Beyonceâs lesbian lover in an upcoming movie. To sadly quote Eva, âStop the madness! Believe me I would love to work with BeyonceâŠbut this is something we are definitely not doing together. Itâs completely and absolutely not true.â
First of all, Eva, you should have used the Susan Powter line, âstop the insanityâ and second of all, thanks for nothing. Now that youâve ruined this for me why donât you stop by an orphanage and tell those kids that they have an 84% chance of NOT being adopted. While youâre at it, give them the heads up about Santa too.
Eva, you may say that these rumors are not true, but that picture up above of you (arriving at Good Morning America to do a cooking segment today) are kinda saying âlesbian co-starâ to me. I mean, if not that, itâs definitely saying that you are being initiated into the âChild Molester Hall of Fame.â Congratulations, you look like you are ready for your level-three sex offender blue ribbon!
Beyonce would be lucky to have you Eva! Now who is she going to get? I fear it will be one of the two remaining members of Destinyâs ChildâŠor worse yet, JayZ dressed as a woman.