Beyonce Suffered Depression & Is Skitzo

Sometimes I feel really bad for celebrities. I mean, they’re very rich, loved by millions, and can get basically anything they want. Who can live like that? In this Sunday’s Parade Magazine, Beyonce talked about how she was depressed when she was 18 and two of the members of Destiny’s Child were booted/left the group. Poor Beyonce stayed in bed all the time (probably counting her millions). Beyonce also struggled with discovering if people really loved her for “her.” Let me answer that for you Beyonce. “No.” They don’t. Well, it’s not that nobody loves you for you, but most people are probably a bit more into you due to your fame and fortune. I know I would be.

The Beyonce Machine also continued to talk about, what seems like her favorite subject, her alter ego/2nd personality. This alter ego is known as “Sasha.” Yup. Here is a bit of a recap from that article on Beyshasha or as I like to now call her, Sashonce.

“That person on stage isn’t me. I become someone else when I’m on stage. I call that stage persona ‘Shasha.’ I keep her onstage and keep me, Beyonce, off stage. I wouldn’t like Sasha if I met her off-stage. Oh, no! She’s too aggressive, too strong, too sassy, too sexy. I’m not her in real life at all.”

Sashonce, when asked about marriage, continued, “My parents have been married for 27 years, and they’re still in love. That’s a great example for me. I know it’s possible.”

Oh that’s sweet Sashonce, but screw me if I’m wrong…didn’t your parents separate for a little while and live in different houses? Sure, it’s love, but once the money started pouring in I think that really helped push them back together. Ok, that was a low blow.

I’d like to get back to “Sasha” and your alter ego. Bey-Bey, that’s actually a mental disorder. Turn on any trash talk show and you’ll see that these same people are on them talking about the same issues. The only difference is that you’re getting paid millions, while these other folks are mostly on welfare. It’s not an “alter ego” it’s more of issue that can be treated with proper medication such as Paxil, Wellbutrin, etc. Let me ask you something Bey-Bey. Does “Sasha” ever talk to you? Stalk you? Threaten you over Sunday dinner? If you answered yes to any of these options please seek treatment immediately.

P.S., Clearly my “scanning” skills are almost as good as my “photoshopping” skills…almost.
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