Beyonce is so âsing dumpingâ your ass! Beyonce has a new song out, âIrreplaceableâ which actually sounds nothing like a normal Beyonce song. I mean first, there are no sirens going off in the background, like in âRing the Alarmâ which always made me feel like we were under a major nuclear terrorist attack. Iâve been on code red since Ring the Alarm made itâs way onto the air. Her new song may sound different, but one thing remains the same; Beyonce is angry! I donât know who is the angriest singer, Beyonce or Kelly Clarkson? What is there to be so angry at? Youâre rich! Doesnât money make everything better? Wait, it does doesnât it?
Beyonce has an art for what I like to call âConversation Singing.â What âconversation singingâ basically is is literally having a conversation with someone, but adding a beat to it. Youâre going to have to get a little more creative than that Beyonce, besides just singing about your grocery list and breaking up with someone. Anyway, letâs look at a few sample lyrics from her new song:
Seriously, the next time some girl dumps me I totally want her to do it by singing. Sure it will hurt a bit and Iâll be sad, but I think the beat of the song will really lift my spirits. And with the whole, âto the left, to the leftâ I would totally end up walking in circles around the apartment. And with the whole, âyes if I bought it, please donât touch,â yeah thanks âmom.â My parents pulled that line on me when I was little and threatened to run away. I started to pack my things and they told me that they bought all that so I had to leave it behind. My parents were years beyond Beyonce! And ânoâ I canât walk and talk at the same time because not only are you dumping my ass, but youâre singing and I canât concentrate. I mean, do I go to the left or do I call a cab. Itâs confusing!
Anyway, the song is actually pretty good and will probably end up winning a Grammy and Iâll still be sitting here blogging. The rich keep getting richer and the assholes keep getting assholier (??).