Teefs Pats Does FHM

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Oh that Audrina!  That chilly water really makes her teef pop!  And I have to admit, stuffing Enzo into her bikini top really works for her.  I mean, on Heidi it makes her look like two marbles trying to make it through a straw, but on Audrina is balances her out….and by “balances her out” I mean “makes me look at her dead eyes and teeth less.  I’m still looking, but I’m looking less.  Kinda like an eclipse.  You’re not supposed to look directly at it, but you think you’re invincible so you quickly glance up just to make sure it’s there and you feel a lot better that you know it’s there.   Kinda like that.

Teefs Pats did what she does best, sitting and/or standing in water with her rack hanging out, for FHM magazine.  If we’re all very quiet right now you can almost hear Lauren Conrad shaving her mustache and stuffing her bra with the upper lip hair.

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