Hey There God. How Are You? Good? Good, I’m Glad. Listen, I Need a Favor. Is There Any Way, Please, That You Can Make Sure That Audrina’s Stalker Becomes a Permanent Character on “The Hills.” Thank You!

Audrina has a stalker who, surprisingly, isn’t me.  Zachary Loring, allegedly, has been stalking Teefs Pats and ended up trying to get into her Hollywood home.  Such a rookie mistake.  Everyone knows that the way to Audrina’s heart is through her teef!  Duh!?

When Loring tried to pleas guilty the Judge and Loring’s own attorney would not allow him to, which made Loring start dropping F bombs the size of Heidi Montag’s new rack.  I sure hope this dude makes it onto the new season of The Hills!