Who Wants To See Some Rich Olsen Hole?

Wait, is this what “the kids” are doing these days? Ripping holes in their clothes? Is $2 dollar crack-whore really “in” these days? Damn, Whitney Houston was way ahead of her time. I actually miss the old cracked out Whitney. Ugh. Oh well, enough about me.

Mary-Michelle-Kate-Ashley-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen (I have no idea which Olsen this is) was spotted in Paris the other day rocking some ripped pantyhose (nylons?) and wearing roadkill, and sporting some hip-happening sunglasses circa 1982. Nice! That’s right Olsen #2, let’s see some of that hot bony kneecap. Yeah! Celebrity anorexic kneecap. Hot. I love when rich people look crazy. It makes me feel better about myself. Is that a bad thing? Anyway, this bring me to my next Olsen fact. Forbes has named the Olsen Sluts the #1 Hollywood “earners” under 21. The Olsen Skanks (yes, quick name change) raked in $40 million in 2006. I bet you didn’t know that I made the list? Yup, I came in at #76,232,267. Yeah, kiss that Olsen whores! Woooo-hoooo I’m rich baby, yeah! Uncle Joey has nothin’ on me!

So let me understand this. You made $40 million last year. Your nylons have rips in them. You look homeless. You are the type of rich celebrity that my sister thinks will burn in hell, strictly for just being that rich.

Who Said Rich!?