The Olsen Sluts Are Now 21

The Olsen Sluts (formal name) have officially turned 21 today! It seems like just yesterday they were playing the award winning (no award won) role of Michelle Tanner in the award winning (no award won) television sitcom (not funny) Full House. Watching Michelle Tanner being to tear up when she asked Uncle Jesse if it was ok to cry after her beloved Papooli dies in the sad (funny) episode really made me think, “You know what, these chicks deserve to be billionaires.” And look what happened…they became billionaires. You’re welcome.
So on this momentous occasion of the Olsen Sluts turning 21 they can now legally drink and gamble. They no longer have to show a fake ID when walking into the corner store to buy scratch tickets in hopes that they will win millions. Oh wait, never mind.
Happy 21st birthday Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Tanner-Gibbler, whoever you are. I’d like to buy you your first legal shot of “shut the hell up.” Cheers! I mean, Full house!
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