Finally! The secret has been uncovered! People used to always wonder why The Olsen Sluts never smiled, but now we can be pretty sure that it’s somehow tied to their eyebrows. Perhaps it’s a twin thing that traces all the way back to the birth canal. Olsen birth canal….gross. Anyway, new Olsen eyebrows tend to make Olsen’s smile, which allows us to see Olsen teeth, which aren’t as nice as you’d think they’d be. One of the Olsen’s, it doesn’t matter which one, was all smiles recently. Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen was at the Calvin Klein Resort 2009 Collection an just couldn’t wipe that smirk off her face. Maybe she was thinking about that time when DJ Tanner had her in the shopping cart and was singing “Lollipops and Gummi Bears Are My Favorite Treat” while they tried to raise money for Danny and Ant Becky’s 24-hour telethon? I know that usually makes me smile.
So are these eyebrows the new trend? I hope not. I don’t want to see girls with eyebrows that dudes from Staten Island have.