My Mail-Order Olsen Bride Finally Arrived!



They promised me 5-7 business days, but my mail-order Olsen bride actually arrived on my doorstep in 3 business days, which was a refreshing surprise.  I haven’t been able to tell, yet, if this indistinguishable Olsen is alive or dead but, frankly, it doesn’t matter.  We’ve been running lines from some of my favorite Full House episodes and she even let me put her in a shopping carriage and sing “Lollipops and Gummi Bears are My Favorite Treat” 4 times in a row the other day.  She even let’s me bend her thumbs up and says, “You got it, dude” while I clap and squeal with delight.  I love my little Olsen bride.

Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Gibbler-Tanner-Olsen was all “walking corpse” on the red carpet at the 3rd Annual Art of Elysium Gala in Beverly Hills (90210) over the weekend.  She apparently had Ant Becky’s Elvis inspired wedding dress taken in 3 sizes and painted blood onto her lips to really make the entire outfit pop.  I’m actually looking for some ropes around her a la “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

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