Howard K Stern Chickens Out

If (in the voice of Maury Povich) Howard K. Stern finds out he is not the father of Anna Nicole’s baby he will not fight whomever the real father is. As a side note, did you guys know that Anna Nicole was no longer alive? I just heard that the other day, but haven’t been able to confirm the story. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear.

According to some random drunken sources and my friends over at TMZ (they don’t know me), “If Larry Birkhead is confirmed to be Dannielynn’s biological father, Howard will not challenge custody. His love for her will not change, irrespective of the results. Howard will act in Dannielynn’s best interest, because he loves her and would want a smooth transition to protect her as she is deeply bonded to those who have been with her since birth.”

Yeah, I’m not so much if she is deeply bonded to those who have been with her or if she is deeply addicted to methadone. What? I’m just saying.

The results from the paternity test will be ready on Tuesday. Both Howard K Stern, Larry Birkhead, and Virgie “the Virgin” Arthur are all expected to be in attendance. Who is not expected to be in attendance? Anna Nicole Smith. Go figure.

What I really want to know is what happens when this is over? This won’t be the “end end” will it? Can’t they toss any other random situations at us? I’m hoping that none of these dudes are the baby daddies. I’d like to see the second string of possibilities. Let’s toss Bob Barker’s name in the ring.