Who Won America’s Next Top Model 9?

Ahhhh it’s the America’s Next Top Model Season/Cycle 9 Season Finale. It’s bitter sweet for me as that means that this is Jenny’s last recap for a while. Since I am paying her 13 cents/hr maybe I’ll see if she can recap another show now that ANTM is peacing out for a bit. Anyway, here’s what Jenny thought took place on last nights ANTM Season Finale. Who won? Who cares?

  • The three finalists are hanging out to discuss which girls will be in the bottom two this week. Jenah’s feet are dirty.
  • This week’s challenge has the girls shooting a commercial and a print ad for who else, Covergirl. The winner gets to be in a national ad. Joy to the world.
  • Jaslene shows up and I want to abuse myself. Right now I wish I was deaf.
  • We are forced to watch the three finalists shoot a Covergirl commercial over and over and over….None of them are able to memorize the three lines and they all want to cry. I mean, it’s just lip gloss. Nobody is asking you to split atoms.
  • One of the Chinese guest judges this week is Darren Duan. I looked quick and thought it said Duran Duran. Don’t even TRY to pull the wool over my eyes like that Tyra. And keep Jaslene the hell away from me.
  • I wonder if Miss Jay would let me put him and his afro on my car antennae so I can find it when I come out of the mall?
  • Jenah is the first to get the boot, which means Saleisha and Chantal will be stomping their way down the runway in the final competition.
  • Why? Why is Jaslene in the runway show? And why is Tyra dressed like a drag Geisha? Sensory overload.
  • Tyra Banks gets a special introduction and is escorted down the runway by several Chinese dudes. She is walking so….S L O W. And she is looking everyone in the eye. She is probably thinking….If anyone has any reason as to why this marriage should not take place, speak now or forever hold your peace.
  • Highlight of the season…maybe even the series…
  • A Chinese dude on stilts slips on Chantal’s train and falls like 10 feet to the ground. This couldn’t have been any better than if it happened to Tyra herself.
  • Well, for those of you who are true fans, this moment must be like Christmas for you. Except instead of Santa, it’s Tyra. And instead of a bag full of presents it’s a fist full of photos….and instead of 8 tiny reindeer, it’s Twiggy.
  • Saleisha wins! I am not sure how. The most important thing is that we will no longer see Jaslene’s commercials.
  • See you next season. Maybe.

Who Won America’s Next Top Model 9?

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