IBBBâs favorite (and only) resident Americaâs Next Top Model recapper is back again this week, which is surprising since she is only paid 10 cents for every 200 words she types. Anyway, are Jennyâs thoughts on this weeks episode of Americaâs Next Top Model:- First and foremost, I cannot be held responsible for any shoddy and/or shawty reporting. In addition to ANTM, my beloved Red Sox are on and I do have my priorities straight.
- The show begins with one chick explaining that she is from Ocala, FLâŠa very small town with horses and cows. At this point I realize that I need to kill myself for remembering that the girl from âMy Supersweet 16â was also from Ocala. She 2 stepped with CiaraâŠ.she sucked. And clearly, so do I.
- The girls arrive at âFashion Madhouse.â Basically, this is a condemned-haunted-hospital-warehouse-basement. Miss Jay is in a nurses outfit and trains the girls to walk the runway in a straightjacket and heelsâŠbecause all of this makes sense. Regardless, the Red Sox are winning 4-0.
- Bianca tells Saleisha to check her thighs in the mirror because she is âborderline plus size.â Does Bianca know that she looks like she colors her bangs with cherry Kool-Aid?
- For the challenge the girls do a runway show for fashion designer Colleen Quen. After all the girls pretend they know who she is and act excited, Colleen tells them that the winner will model her clothes in gay Paâree!
- I realize that I know nothing about fashion because these dresses donât look much different than the ones I used to make for my Barbie when I was 6. I must have made a million tube dresses for her. It was like she had me working in a sweat shop.
- As a side note, my local news station is ridiculous. They flash the most foolish headlines across the bottom of the screen. It just says: âWarning to Womenâ. Thatâs it. Well what the hell is the warning? Is there a rapist on the loose in my town? Have a particular brand of high heels been recalled? How am I supposed to proceed? Do I lock my doors or wear flip-flops?
- Beckett is pitching lights out right now.
- Saleisha wins the challenge and gets to go to Paris. I hope she doesnât forfeit this trip to Whitney so she can rent a beach house in Malibu with Jason for the summer. Oh wait, wrong show.
- The photo shoot features the models posing on a rock climbing wall. Victoria says something crazy out of left field. I know this because they used the ârecord scratchâ sound effect. I rewound this a few times on my Tivo, but I cannot understand what she is saying. Something about sunshine.
- Itâs judging time and Tyra is doing a terrible French accent. Why does she always have to do accents? Canât she just âbe?â She does however take this time to remind us yet AGAIN that she booked all kinds of jobs when she was first starting out in Paris.
- Honestly, what the hell is up with Miss Jayâs hair? He looks like Florida Evans. Damn, Damn, DAMN!!!!!!!!!
- Tyra begins the elimination ceremony in needless dramatic fashion. Kimberly gets the boot and Tyra offers some words to live by.
- Now next weekâŠ.Itâs my favorite episode, and yours! The makeover episode. They show buzzers! Da Da Dun! And the Sox won 4-0âŠwith Beckett pitching a complete game and shut out. See ya next weekâŠ