IBBB’s favorite (and only) resident America’s Next Top Model recapper is back again this week, which is surprising since she is only paid 10 cents for every 200 words she types. Anyway, are Jenny’s thoughts on this weeks episode of America’s Next Top Model:- First and foremost, I cannot be held responsible for any shoddy and/or shawty reporting. In addition to ANTM, my beloved Red Sox are on and I do have my priorities straight.
- The show begins with one chick explaining that she is from Ocala, FL…a very small town with horses and cows. At this point I realize that I need to kill myself for remembering that the girl from “My Supersweet 16” was also from Ocala. She 2 stepped with Ciara….she sucked. And clearly, so do I.
- The girls arrive at “Fashion Madhouse.” Basically, this is a condemned-haunted-hospital-warehouse-basement. Miss Jay is in a nurses outfit and trains the girls to walk the runway in a straightjacket and heels…because all of this makes sense. Regardless, the Red Sox are winning 4-0.
- Bianca tells Saleisha to check her thighs in the mirror because she is “borderline plus size.” Does Bianca know that she looks like she colors her bangs with cherry Kool-Aid?
- For the challenge the girls do a runway show for fashion designer Colleen Quen. After all the girls pretend they know who she is and act excited, Colleen tells them that the winner will model her clothes in gay Pa’ree!
- I realize that I know nothing about fashion because these dresses don’t look much different than the ones I used to make for my Barbie when I was 6. I must have made a million tube dresses for her. It was like she had me working in a sweat shop.
- As a side note, my local news station is ridiculous. They flash the most foolish headlines across the bottom of the screen. It just says: “Warning to Women”. That’s it. Well what the hell is the warning? Is there a rapist on the loose in my town? Have a particular brand of high heels been recalled? How am I supposed to proceed? Do I lock my doors or wear flip-flops?
- Beckett is pitching lights out right now.
- Saleisha wins the challenge and gets to go to Paris. I hope she doesn’t forfeit this trip to Whitney so she can rent a beach house in Malibu with Jason for the summer. Oh wait, wrong show.
- The photo shoot features the models posing on a rock climbing wall. Victoria says something crazy out of left field. I know this because they used the “record scratch” sound effect. I rewound this a few times on my Tivo, but I cannot understand what she is saying. Something about sunshine.
- It’s judging time and Tyra is doing a terrible French accent. Why does she always have to do accents? Can’t she just “be?” She does however take this time to remind us yet AGAIN that she booked all kinds of jobs when she was first starting out in Paris.
- Honestly, what the hell is up with Miss Jay’s hair? He looks like Florida Evans. Damn, Damn, DAMN!!!!!!!!!
- Tyra begins the elimination ceremony in needless dramatic fashion. Kimberly gets the boot and Tyra offers some words to live by.
- Now next week….It’s my favorite episode, and yours! The makeover episode. They show buzzers! Da Da Dun! And the Sox won 4-0…with Beckett pitching a complete game and shut out. See ya next week…