America’s Next Top Model Recap: Marjorie is a Spaz

Jenny is back to recap the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model. I think we may need to give her a new show for next season. Here’s what she said went down last night:
  • Well, the final five girls are still in Amsterdammit…and are yelling things like “party of five!” and “woooooooo!!!!!!!!”
  • It’s time for go sees! This is the same every cycle. It always involves clueless girls in a foreign city, getting lost, being late for their go sees and not making it back in time for the 5:00 deadline.
  • The girls are traveling by boat…so how bad can it be right? No, they still all get totally lost. The streets are all like Haavenstraat and Shlatenhaaar…
  • Also the people in Amsterdammit won’t give any of the girls the time of day. Every time someone asks for directions, the people just walk right by them. I mean, I’m from Boston and even we don’t do that. We may give you the wrong directions…but we’ll stop and give you some type of directions…Not to mention if you’re driving you don’t stand a chance anyway. Every street is a one way…none of which will go in the direction you need them to. But I digress.
  • The rest of the competition is ho-hum, or hoe-hum…Marjorie cries and whines. A designer tells Elina she won’t work with her due to her large number of tattoos. Marjorie cries AGAIN. Oh, and Marjorie cries again. McKey is late getting back and is disqualified.
  • Analeigh is the winner and wins $18,000 worth of prizes that she will get later at the apartment. How mysterious. Not really, she gets clothes. Does McKey have an accent? How have I not noticed this before? I need to step it up and take my job seriously.
  • Get ready for this week’s photo shoot. Someone has their back to us…I thought it was going to be Tyra, but a random dude turns around with a face full of makeup. Tyra rolls up on the set and is the photographer for the shoot. The theme is no makeup and lots o’ makeup. Ok.
  • Sidenote- Tyra does an EXCELLENT Miss Jay impression.
  • Tyra coaches Elina on how to “let it all go.” She tells Elina to be “fashion” and a “monster”….Be a fashion monster! Stupid.
  • European and European are in the bottom two. So who stays? The European or the European? The European is sent…..home…..She must pack up her bags and return to America immediately. Haavenstraat!
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