America’s Next Top Model: Makeover Episode. Oh, and Tyra’s a Witch. No, Really.

Jenny is back to recap America’s Next Top Model makeover crapisode. Looks like ANTM hit an all time low.

  • Gather ’round boys and girls….it’s everyone’s favorite, the makeover episode….dun dun dunnnn. I mean, this train wreck isn’t about makeovers, or seeing girls cry over buzz cuts. It’s about seeing how Tyra factors herself into this…Last season we had Tyra-vision…Maybe this time Tyra will dress as an angel and devil and superimpose herself onto the girls’ shoulders….
  • Oh boy, Tyra is in the living room with a beauty pageant queen crown on. I wonder what she’ll talk about? Oh right, herself. Tyra is telling the girls all about how she became a super model, blah blah blah thin, blah blah blah, booty, blah blah blah Italy. Why does Tyra keep sing-talking this cycle?
  • Miss Jay shows up as the wicked witch in Snow White and hands Tyra a poison apple. Tyra eats it and passes out and the models are truly frightened (as am I, but for different reasons). The other Jay shows up and actually kisses Tyra….maybe. She wakes up “woozy” and coughs a lot. She doesn’t have enough energy to tell the girls what their makeover will be. Jay carries her away and the world implodes. Disclaimer: I am not drunk, high or dreaming. This is how this scene actually played out.
  • It’s makeover time….and there you have it. Tyra pops up in the bottom of the screen as the wicked queen. No comment. She’s got on a fright wig and is using all kinds of high pitched accents. Seriously, what does the props department on this show look like?
  • Cue the tears. Elina is not happy at all. I don’t blame her, they gave her little orphan Annie hair. I am now having flashbacks of my mother giving me a home perm in my kitchen in the 80’s. Make sure to curling iron your permed hair…That REALLY makes it pretty.
  • Off to Walmart for the challenge. The girls have to give themselves makeovers and then sell the product in an improv commercial. The winner gets a video on the Covergirl web site, a photo on Wal-Mart’s web site and a $1000 Wal-Mart gift card. Racist Hannah wins.
  • Elina tells a few of the other models she hates her mom. That’s really sweet. I wonder if she could make that into one of those “song” greeting cards…
  • This week, the girls are modeling swimsuits…Hannah literally has psycho eyes…she honestly looks like she’s plotting mass murder. Isis is a little nervous. Time to tuck and roll. I have no idea.
  • Tyra starts up with the math, 12 girls minus 11 photos equals 1 hour of my life I will never get back.
  • Analeigh and Britney are in the bottom two. So who stays? The girl that we don’t care about? Or the girl that we don’t care about? Looks like Britney is no longer in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model. Hope you had fun. Enjoy your lovely parting extensions!

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