74 seasons ago on American Idol there was Diana Degarmo, a pudgy little finalist the loved to wear pink hats. That was her thing. Diana came in second place (lost to Fantasia) and like many of the other contestants (Kelly Clarkson, Kimberly Locke, etc) vowed not to lose any weight because “they loved the way they looked.” Yeah, well fast forward a few years and low record sales and guess what? Diana Degarmo lost 3 dress sizes and is down to a size 4. Way to cave Diana! It seems like Diana is very happy with her size 4 and pointy shoulder bones. So how did Diana lose the weight? Well, she “changed her diet and works out 4-times a week.” Let me translate for you. She’s discovered new ways to vomit after every meal and she’s dabbled in Trimspa, baby! Ok, so I made that part up, but you have to assume. Anyway, I didn’t like Diana Degarmo before. I mean, I didn’t really have an opinion of her, but now that she is thin I think she is prettier, funnier, more talented, a better singer, a better actress, and just a better person overall. Wait, that’s not shallow is it?
In other American Idol news, Fantasia Barrino has just declared that she can “read again.” Looks like she was never totally illiterate, but just needed a refresher course on “words.”