Dear American Idol Contestants,

Dear American Idol Contestants,

Hey there how are you? I’m sure you’re already stressed at this point so I’ll keep this short. I have a few requests, if you don’t mind. First, at the beginning of each episode when they announce you one by one and you enter the stage can you please stop doing the ridiculous pointing into the camera? This also includes awkward peace signs, pretending your shooting a gun towards the camera and then blowing into it, and very fast and fancy waving into the camera. All of these things make me very embarrassed and I’m pretty sure I turn some shade of red when I see this happening. Great. Next up, while performing on stage please don’t follow the camera while it circles around you and sing directly into it because at some point you’re turned almost all the way around and then they switch over to the other camera that’s straight on you and you look all twisted and crazy. Oh, and it makes me feel like you’re staring me down kinda like those old Jesus pictures where the eyes would follow you when you walked by. Finally, if you;re deemed one of the “rockers” you don’t have to pick up the mic stand and carry and twirl it around the stage while singing. We get it. You know how to do tricks with the mic stand, but it makes me stop focusing on your “sing yelling” and then I get sidetracked and wonder if I, too, could do such mic stand tricks.

Thanks for your time and cooperation with these requests.

Luke-Warm Regards,
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