After American Idol has raped the American public of gazillions of dollars and time lost in our lives, they have decided to give back. Whatever it takes I guess.
Iād assume the children of Africa are psyched to see someone else famous besides Sally Struthers. I know Iād be happy for the change of pace. Do you think the kids are confused why Ryan Seacrest is wearing probably $2,500 worth of clothes? Interesting, yet not so. Hereās what went down on American Idol as perceived by the brilliance of IBBB.
- Chris Richardson sang āChange the Worldā and to no surprise sounded like Justin Timberlake. If this wasnāt for charity, Iād say, ādonāt vote.ā Oh hell. Donāt vote.
- Apparently all you need to do to get the audience to scream and clap is simply stand up. Good thinking Chris. Iād stand up more often. Youād probably get a few more votes.
- Dear Randy, please stop talking like youāre 16 yrs old. Thanks for your cooperation.
- Melinda literally shook her head left to right the entire song. We get it. You have a twitch. I think shaking your head left to right symbolizes āseriousnessā while shaking your hips left to right signals a secret message to Shakira. But, I digress.
- I love when Paula calls contestants āmagical.ā No, youāre magical Paula, youāre magical. You ride on a magical unicorn into the heavens and hi-five Amelia Earhart. Thanks Paula.
- āImagineā Blake Lewis didnāt beat-box?
- Sweet, Paula continues to talk directly into the microphone. $1.00 Bob, $1.00!
- Lakisha sings Fantasia. Hopefully, Lakisha doesnāt plan on taking any dirty pictures with her cell phone like Fantasia did. Yowza!
- This time Paula grabs the microphone in order to talk even louder and ever more direct into the mic. Halfway through I feel Paula has a stroke. Perhaps she was electrocuted from touching the mic.
- Phil Staceyā¦Iām sorry, I fell asleep. Thereās a chance I lapsed into a coma. The doctors are still trying to decide.
- Jordin Sparks sings something depressing. This whole show depressed me. Half the songs made me feel like I was in a Disney Cartoon and not in a good way.