As you know, every now and then I like to break off from the celebrity news just to clear my head. Typically, I do this in a “rant,” but this time I’m doing it with a new little segment I like to call, “Am I Wrong?”
- No, I don’t want to pet your dog. Just because you’re walking a dog doesn’t mean I want it liking my hand or leg. I may not know your dog, but I am certain that he drinks out of the toilet and licks himself. Yeah, I’m all set with that toilet tongue on me, thanks. Am I wrong?
- If you’re a guy and wearing capri pants, why? I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, etc, but why capri pants? Is it hot out? Will those keep you cool? Is it cool out? Will those keep you warm? Why are you showing off your ankle area? Please stop it, at once. Am I wrong?
- If it’s hot out and sunny and my face is red, don’t ask me if I have a sun-burn. What do you think? And don’t ask me if it hurts? My face is red and about 200 degrees. Yes it hurts. Does that bottle I just broke over your head tickle? Am I wrong?
- Don’t look at me weird and say, “Is that a grey hair?” What do you think? Next time you ask that I’m going to look behind you and say, “Is that a fat ass?” Am I wrong?
- If all you have to say to me on an elevator is “Is it Friday yet?” don’t even bother talking to me. No it isn’t Friday yet. You know when it is Friday? When it actually is Friday. P.S if you say “Hot enough for ya?” please just immediately exit the elevator. Am I wrong?
- Why is it that when someone honks their horn everyone seems to look? Do you think you’re that important that the horn is for you? How important could you be? You’re walking. Am I wrong?
- Yeah, if you’re sneezing all over the place and then tell me “oh don’t worry I’m not sick, it’s just allergies” I don’t care. There is still snot flying out of your nose at 100 miles per hour and landing all over the place. I don’t care if it’s “cold snot” or “allergy snot.” It’s still snot and I still don’t want it on me. Am I wrong?
That’s all. Thank you.