Back by popular demand is another fresh segment of IBBBâs âAm I Wrong?â Sometimes itâs nice to stray away from Hollywood and really think about some stuff. Yeah, stuff. Deep.
- Iâm not a big fan of flying although I love sitting in the emergency row. Those extra 5 inches of leg room are too much to pass up. Did I mention Iâm also an asshole? Yeah, well I am. I love when Iâm in the emergency row and the flight attendant makes me verbally say âyesâ that in the case of emergency I will assist everyone off the plane. Really? I have to say yes? Fine. âYes.â Iâll help. I verbally say yes, but in my mind I am envisioning the plane going down and me pushing everyone out of the way to I can get myself to safety first. I would literally use people to knock other people out of my way. I would use the fat lady as my flotation device. Hell, Iâd string like 10 kids together to make me a raft so that I can float to safety. I would never help anyone if my life was in danger. Am I wrong?
- Why the hell are people so shocked when they get on an elevator and there are a lot of people already on the elevator. They say things like, âWowâ and âOh!â when the doors open and they see 10 people already standing in there. Itâs like theyâve never seen people on an elevator before. They look at you all puzzled and slowly kinda walk into the elevator as if theyâve lost all their senses and have no clue what to do. Yes, this is an elevator. Yes there are people on it. Yup, thatâs how it works. There are 50 floors to this building. Did you really expect tumbleweed to shoot out of the elevator when the doors opened so you could get your fatass on it? Take the stairs if youâre so shocked with a crowded elevator. Am I wrong?
- I love people who have no clue what to do when it comes to Daylight Savings Time. You would think this is the first time theyâve ever had to change their clocks back an hour. Clearly it must be the end of the world. Then you always get that smart ass that says things like âItâs 10:00, but itâs really like itâs 11:00.â Yup, it isâŠ.except that it isnât. Thatâs like saying âItâs Monday, but itâs really like itâs Sunday.â Yeah, it isâŠif it was yesterday. However my absolute favorite is the people who end up late to work on Monday after Daylight Savings Time. Are you kidding? Youâre late? You know you had to turn your clocks back on Sunday at 2am? So basically you went ALL of Sunday âforgettingâ to change your clock back? Your cell phone didnât update itself to tip you off? You didnât notice all day that everything you wanted to watch on TV you missed? Oh, did you miss the sun going down an hour early? Really? All those clues you didnât pick up on? Yeah, you should be late to work. Oh, youâre also retarded. Am I wrong?
- Can you believe theyâve already put all the Christmas stuff out in the stores? I even saw some if out before Halloween! And now that Halloween is over ALL of the Christmas stuff is out. Itâs like they skipped over Thanksgiving. Can you believe it? Yes. Yes I can believe it. You want to know why I can believe it? I can believe it because this is how itâs been since probably the beginning of time. Every year the Christmas stuff comes out early. So stop looking all shocked when you walk in the store and see it. Christmas stuff is put out early. End of story. Yes they shove Christmas down your throat. Yes thatâs Christmas music on the radioâŠalready. This doesnât seem familiar to you? You donât remember saying this same thing last year and the year before that and the year before that and the year before that and the year before that and the year before that and the year before that? Oh, and the year before that? You donât deserve Christmas. Am I wrong?
- I have a question. Why the hell are the homeless so tired? What are they busy doing? I typically walk over about 6 homeless people on my way to work every day and theyâre always laying on the ground. See, now I just think thatâs poor planning. If I were homeless I would spend the majority of my day walking around and then, come night time, Iâd be so tired Iâd probably get a good night sleep anywhere. Even at, say, a dumpster. And why the hell would you pick New York to be homeless? It gets cold here. If you follow my plan of walking around all day I would just start walking to California. At least itâs warm there. Has no homeless person thought of this yet? I should tell them. Am I wrong?
Well that concludes another segment of âAm I Wrong.â Am I Wrong was brought to you by âGoyaâ and the letter âP.â