Heidi Runs the Kentucky Derby!

Uh-oh, check your mint juleps for piss and silicon drippings because Heidi Montag was at The Kentucky Derby. Well, she wasn’t so much “at it” as I imagined her running it. Sadly, a horse was euthanized. You may have snuck away this time, Heidi Montag, but we will get you…oh we will.

Ok ok so Heidi and Steve Sanders certainly dressed the part. Heidi was in her Boca Raton Howard Johnson’s king-sized bed bedspread and pillow shams (if ya know what I mean) and Steve Sanders had on his best seersucker suit that I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be wearing unless you’re the ring bearer at your Aunt’s wedding….and it’s the summer….and you’re 7. Regardless these two are looking like hot sex on a platter and by “hot sex” I really mean “shit” and by “on a platter” I really mean “on a stick.” So, basically, they look like shit on a stick. Although it was promising that Heidi’s hat did remind me just what I need to take when I have nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea.
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