If you mean to tell me that Snooki’s freakin’ poof could have been cuffed and spent time in prison I would be less than shocked. If you told me that Snooki killed somebody and not with her breasts, I wouldn’t believe it. I’d say things like, “What?” and “I don’t believe it.” Those are some of the things I would say. However, when I read that Blessed Midget Snooki, the Patron Saint of Wahhh, was criminally charged for selling booze to minors at a party at her house in which one of the minors drove home and died in a drunk driving accident I was actually kind of shocked. I mean, I was relieved that she didn’t technically kill someone with her bare breasts, but I was still kinda shocked nonetheless and also nevertheless (depending on what part of the world you live on).
Snooki, along with two others, were charged in connection with the 2004 death of a teen who rolled their Mazda over on Thanksgiving morning after partying for hours at Snooki’s house (in her basement).
Obviously things worked out for Snooki as she was clearly rewarded by karma and turned into an overnight sensation, idolized by millions, and written about by complete lunatics like me. Rewards of a douche-bag knows no bounds.
While it is horrific, horrific, horrific, that someone died in a drunk driving accident, if Snooki had been thrown in jail just think of how all of our lives would be drastically different. Mine, for one, would have absolutely no meaning. No meaning whatsoever.