Paris Hilton Drunk = Useful Paris Hilton

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Ah now here’s the Paris Hilton that really makes a difference in the world.  The sluttastic whorefaced drunken skankenheimer (allegedly) was celebrating the weekend in Brazil and doing a little liquor promotion when she apparently got bit my the “drunk bug.”  Odd.  I’ve never pictured Paris acting out of control.  She kinda looks like the outcome if a Fraggle raped an ostrich who was the long lost child of a dolphin.  Seriously Paris, you’re 29.  Get your sh*t together.

Personally I’m having a hard time figuring out what my favorite parts are.  Is it her visible black thong?  Her size 23 foot?  Her man hands?  The wonk eye?  Or the fact that no matter what picture of her I see I always think she looks like Martha Stewart but, like, the syphilicious version.

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