Nicole Richie’s Ring Makes Her Look Fat

Alert! Alert! Alert! Nicole Richie may be off the market and I don’t just mean supermarket, I mean market market. Like “singles market.” I don’t even know what that means. I’m tired. There are rumors being blown around like Nicole Richie on a windy day that she is getting engaged to boyfriend Joel Madden of Good Charlotte (no relation to Charlotte Church…I don’t think). Those two crazy kids were spotted at a jewelry store not too long ago and, while Nicole did by a necklace, they also looked at engagement rings. No fast forward to present time (or like 24 hours ago) and Nicole was spotted wearing this ring. Da-da-duuuuun. Seriously, this is the worst news ever. I mean, I don’t mean “bad news,” I mean like most boring news. I only decided to post this story for the following reasons:

  • Ability to make a Nicole Richie weight joke
  • Ability to make a Nicole Richie weight joke
  • Ability to incorporate Charlotte Church into a story
  • Ability to take my photoshop skills to the next level by “blowing up an image and making the border blue.”
  • Ability to make a Nicole Richie weight joke

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