Daniel, What Happened to Your Eye? AND DON'T TELL ME IT WAS ANOTHER BIKE ACCIDENT!

Sometimes at times like these it’s hard to believe in God. “These times” that I am talking about, of course, are the ones surrounding a possible remake of The Karate Kid. Let me repeat that. A remake of The Karate Kid. Oh, and it gets worse. Guess who may be playing Daniel? Will Smith’s son, Jaden Smith. Oh, and it gets worse. Guess who’s being tapped to play Mr. Miagi? Jackie Chan. Let me repeat that. Jackie Chan. Guess who’s probably going to toss themselves out their 30th floor window? IBBB. That’s who.

Next to The Hills, Bindi Irwin (that little bitch), Jodie Sweetin, and Olivia Palermo my favorite thing in life has always been The Karate Kid Part I. I know almost all the words. When my parents bought their first VCR when they first came out, it was the first movie off of HBO (when HBO was free) that my sister and I taped. We watched that tape over and over again. Fast forward 250 yrs and I am still quoting this movie. Most of my friends hate me because out of nowhere I’ll be like, “Oh my God what happened to your eye” and as they look all nervous because they think there is something wrong with their eye, I yell out, “And don’t tell me it was another bike accident!” Bonus points if you remember that scene.

Anyalliwithani, if they remake this movie and ruin it for me I will be devastated. Just leave it alone. Hasn’t Jaden Smith ruined enough things in my life already?

If they do remake this, I request that either Mrs. Teasley plays Daniel’s mother….or Jill Zarin from Real Housewives of New York. Ugh.

Put him in a body bag, Johnny, yeaaah!

He’s a creampuff Johnny!

Sweep the leg!

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